BECAUSE I FELT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO SHARE MY EXCITEMENT: More crack!universe.
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William McCoy has seen some harrowing things in his time. Death, disease, destruction. Hell, his daughter's in love with Spice World and watches it on a bi-weekly basis. (Goddamn his wife's teenage nostalgia.)
But absolutely nothing - up to and including watching Ivan tuck his children into bed while singing Russian folk songs - has prepared him for the horrors unfolding in his parents' living room.
His mother, prim and proper Kathleen McCoy, is curled up on the floor sharing a third bottle of red wine with Victoria, and attempting to decorate a gingerbread house.
And they're giggling.
There was not enough whiskey on the planet to make anything about this okay.
But it's not like he can jump up and throw Victoria and Ivan out the door, and swear vengeance on them ever coming near his family again. No, his conversation on the porch with Len a few nights ago pretty much closed that down.
Len is probably going to end up marrying Christine Chapel. They might even give him a couple more nieces and nephews. People he's related to, by blood will (probably) be related to Victoria and Ivan.
As his mother messes up the roof tiling for the fifteenth time - if he weren't in the middle of a panic attack, he'd think the way she's got her tongue stuck out from between her teeth and her face all scrunched up would be completely worthy of next year's Photo Christmas Card - Will quietly contemplates a future where Frank Moses might possibly be his future niece or nephew's soccer coach.
Or worse. Marvin Boggs could babysit.
It's in that exact moment that Coleen decides he's been left alone for long enough. Honestly, it's a wonder he doesn't throw her across the room, but fifteen years of marriage and some rather focused physical training has gotten him over reacting violently to his wife (and children's) touch.
Coleen's hand slides into his hair as she sinks onto the cushion next to him. Will lets himself smile and feel the flash of desire and relief that this wonderful woman continues to let him live in her house and spend a lot of time in her bed. She's all loose-limbs and smelling of brandy and sugar, and he wraps his arm around her, temporarily forgetting the horrific sight in front of him.
"Hi." She sinks into him and leans up for a kiss. It's warm and sexy, and if the kids weren't bunked down next door. And. Well. Two Cold War spies weren't in the room across the hall. Sighing, he pulls back, and turns to the spectacle taking place in front of him. Victoria shoots him an evil smirk which is only slightly ruined by the green frosting that's smeared across her forehead.
He scowls back.
"Okay, that's it." Coleen's hand wraps around his jaw and drags it sideways. "What the hell is going on with you, Will. You've been jumpy as a cat in a kettle since we got here, now what's the damn problem?"
"Kathleen, darling!" With a grace that belies the bottle and a half of merlot she's downed, Victoria shoots to her feet, hauling his mother with. "If we're ever going to get these windows done, we need more white. Come help me find some in the kitchen."
no subject
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William McCoy has seen some harrowing things in his time. Death, disease, destruction. Hell, his daughter's in love with Spice World and watches it on a bi-weekly basis. (Goddamn his wife's teenage nostalgia.)
But absolutely nothing - up to and including watching Ivan tuck his children into bed while singing Russian folk songs - has prepared him for the horrors unfolding in his parents' living room.
His mother, prim and proper Kathleen McCoy, is curled up on the floor sharing a third bottle of red wine with Victoria, and attempting to decorate a gingerbread house.
And they're giggling.
There was not enough whiskey on the planet to make anything about this okay.
But it's not like he can jump up and throw Victoria and Ivan out the door, and swear vengeance on them ever coming near his family again. No, his conversation on the porch with Len a few nights ago pretty much closed that down.
Len is probably going to end up marrying Christine Chapel. They might even give him a couple more nieces and nephews. People he's related to, by blood will (probably) be related to Victoria and Ivan.
As his mother messes up the roof tiling for the fifteenth time - if he weren't in the middle of a panic attack, he'd think the way she's got her tongue stuck out from between her teeth and her face all scrunched up would be completely worthy of next year's Photo Christmas Card - Will quietly contemplates a future where Frank Moses might possibly be his future niece or nephew's soccer coach.
Or worse. Marvin Boggs could babysit.
It's in that exact moment that Coleen decides he's been left alone for long enough. Honestly, it's a wonder he doesn't throw her across the room, but fifteen years of marriage and some rather focused physical training has gotten him over reacting violently to his wife (and children's) touch.
Coleen's hand slides into his hair as she sinks onto the cushion next to him. Will lets himself smile and feel the flash of desire and relief that this wonderful woman continues to let him live in her house and spend a lot of time in her bed. She's all loose-limbs and smelling of brandy and sugar, and he wraps his arm around her, temporarily forgetting the horrific sight in front of him.
"Hi." She sinks into him and leans up for a kiss. It's warm and sexy, and if the kids weren't bunked down next door. And. Well. Two Cold War spies weren't in the room across the hall. Sighing, he pulls back, and turns to the spectacle taking place in front of him. Victoria shoots him an evil smirk which is only slightly ruined by the green frosting that's smeared across her forehead.
He scowls back.
"Okay, that's it." Coleen's hand wraps around his jaw and drags it sideways. "What the hell is going on with you, Will. You've been jumpy as a cat in a kettle since we got here, now what's the damn problem?"
"Kathleen, darling!" With a grace that belies the bottle and a half of merlot she's downed, Victoria shoots to her feet, hauling his mother with. "If we're ever going to get these windows done, we need more white. Come help me find some in the kitchen."