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seren_ccdTitle: Feet on the Ground, Head in the Sky
Fandom: Teeth, Claws and Guinness
Ship: Various original pairings
Word Count: 5.692
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: They are, well, actually, these guys are mine. All of them. I did borrow a set of characters from Terry Pratchett. However, if you ask them, they’ll say they were their own to begin with and he borrowed them. Either way, no infringement meant! Also the title comes from This Must be the Place by the Talking Heads.
A/N: Well, here's some more of this mad thing. I'm posting this un-betaed, so if there are any mistakes, they are totally mine. I hope you enjoy the latest installment!
Summary: Evan has just undergone his first transformation in Cwm Alaw. But, what exactly has Elinor done and what has happened to Hannah’s pub?
When Evan woke, the first thing he saw was an irate squirrel. It chittered at him and then ran up the large oak tree that bordered a small clearing.
Evan groaned as he stretched from a fetal position. He rolled to his stomach and placing his hands flat on the ground he pushed himself off the forest floor. Standing a trifle unsteadily, he took stock of himself.
Naked? Check.
Aching muscles? Check.
Did you eat anything last night? He ran his tongue over his teeth. Nothing tasted odd. So, apparently not. Check.
Are you in the middle of the woods and have at least a mile to walk? Check.
Rolling his shoulders trying to pop some joints back into place, Evan started his walk back towards civilization. His hands eventually found their way underneath his arms to attempt to ward off the chill. He could just see the outlines of Hannah’s house in the distance and picked up the pace.
“Woo! Nice arse!” was suddenly yelled from somewhere behind him.
Evan yelped and darted behind a tree. “Damn it, Hannah! How long have you been there?”
“Long enough for it to be worth the full price of admission,” she called out. “I figured you’d want some pants.”
“Figured right,” he said. “Now, throw them over here.”
“All right, all right, keep your shirt on. Oh, wait.” Evan shook his head while she giggled and threw a bag in his direction.
“You know I’ve seen it all before,” she said as he got dressed still using the tree for cover.
“Yeah, but I was unconscious at the time,” he said pulling a jumper over his head. “It’s different when I’m awake.”
“Ooh, is it?”
Evan just chuckled and shook his head. Once dressed he looked around the tree and saw Hannah sitting primly next to the trunk of a pine tree. She was building a tiny house out of pine needles and grinned when she noticed him watching.
“How did your evening go?” she asked standing up and brushing off her jeans.
“Okay, I think,” he said falling into step beside her as they walked towards the house. “I’m fairly sure I didn’t maul anything.”
“How do you feel?”
He adjusted his shoulders again and was surprised to only feel a few lingering twinges, not the all encompassing ache that had always followed after an evening spent in his old small flat.
“Not too bad,” he said. “Only a little sore.”
“Well, have a soak if you want,” she said when they reached the house. “Elinor always giving me herbal bath stuff, so feel free to try some of them out.”
“Not sure I want to smell like flowers all day, but thanks,” he said following her inside as she entered the kitchen.
“Oh, come on. You’re a big bad wolf,” she said facing him with a grin. “You’ve more than proved your manliness. Go on. Smell like flowers.”
“Cute,” he said dryly, heading for the kettle.
“I heard you actually.”
“What?” Evan turned around, a mug dangling from his fingers. “You what?”
“I heard you. Last night,” she said as she leaned against the kitchen table. “It was shortly after I got home, so around two or so. I distinctly heard a wolf’s howl.”
“Really?” he asked wondrously. “What did it sound like?”
Hannah tilted her head and a small smile appeared on her face. “Happy, I think. You know, content, possibly. It wasn’t like ‘Grr, I’m about to devour a young maiden’, it was more, ‘Hey! I’m out here!’”
She held her hands palms out with fingers spread wide. Evan frowned.
“Are you implying that I somehow made a howl with,” he swallowed, “jazz hands?”
Hannah dissolved into laughter. “That’s really not what I meant!” She tried to get her laughter under control while Evan continued to glare. “Look, it was a happy howl. I promise.”
Evan gave her one last glare before making two mugs of tea. He had just added Hannah’s second spoonful of sugar when there was a loud knocking at the door.
“Goodness, who’s that?” Hannah said. She walked to the front door, Evan not far behind her. She opened the door to a frantic Harry Porter. The tall fellow walked in right past them both speaking a mile a minute.
Evan only caught “...and she’s opened some kind of door and they’re all over the pub and I really tried to warn her, but you know Elinor, she just doesn’t bloody listen. Hey there, Evan, you sounded really cheerful last night. Hannah, you’ve got to come now.” Harry looked frantic and his eyes were wide. Evan glanced at Hannah who glanced at Evan. She shrugged her shoulders.
“Ellie likes to experiment and has a tendency to overdo things,” Hannah said. Harry let out a high-pitched snort and then coughed. “All right, Harry. Let’s go see what she’s done now.”
“I think they were headed to the pub last time I looked. Ellie headed that way,” Harry said bouncing on the balls of his feet.
She turned to Evan. “Will you be okay?”
“Give me another two cups of tea, a soak in the bath and I’ll be in fighting form,” Evan said.
“Good!” Harry said nodding seriously. “We may need you.”
Hannah and Evan gave Harry and then each other another look. “Right,” Hannah said slowly. “Well, come by the pub when you’re feeling up to it.”
“Will do,” Evan said. He frowned as Harry started talking rapidly once again as Hannah walked out with him to Harry’s van. Evan thought he heard the words ‘little pink men’ but he must have misheard.
Right?
He decided to make it just one cup of tea and shower.
⌘ ⌘ ⌘ ⌘ ⌘
Harry Porter was twitching and his fingers on the steering wheel kept clenching.
“Harry, she’s fine,” Hannah said from her spot in the passenger’s seat.
“Ha! You didn’t see what she did,” Harry said his voice breaking a little. “We thought she only had a little bit of power. Ha! Nothing little about it.”
Hannah frowned. Elinor had been restless lately, reading lots of books she’d dug out from places Hannah was a little wary about asking about. But, surely she hadn’t done anything rash?
She stole another look at Harry’s pinched expression. Crap. Elinor did something rash. Poor Harry. The fellow had had a crush on Elinor since he and his family moved to the village when he was twelve. He’d taken one look at the little girl with the crazy curls and fallen head over feet. Literally. The bloke fell off his front porch when Elinor had walked past. Elinor, being who she was, immediately went to help him up and the initial spark of interest blazed into a fire deep inside of Harry’s heart.
After ten years, that fire hadn’t been banked once. Despite Elinor’s lack of interest. It wasn’t that she didn’t know about it. She was well aware of her effect on Harry. She just didn’t want to lose a friend. Or at least that’s what she told Hannah when they were sixteen.
Hannah called her a chicken and bawked and flapped her arms. Elinor called Hannah a ginger-minger and the conversation dissolved into a pillow fight and the subject was never spoken of again. Things just continued on as they always had: Harry adored Elinor from a safe distance and Elinor treated him like a mate. Hannah just rolled her eyes.
Harry pulled up to the pub and slammed on the brakes. They jumped out of the van and Hannah frowned when she saw the front door was ajar. She walked inside and froze in dismay.
Several tables were overturned in the Sheep and Crow and chairs lay on their sides. Hannah sucked in a breath. Her eyes immediately went to the bar and her heart sank at the sight of a tray of smashed pint glasses. She actually let out a tiny sound at empty bottles of Jack Daniels and Jose Cuervo spinning idly on the countertop.
She thanked all the deities she knew that it was only going on nine in the morning and that her deliveries wouldn’t start until lunchtime.
“I guess they’ve been here,” Harry said hesitantly standing a few feet away eyeing the mess and Hannah with an equal amount of trepidation.
“Who have been here, Harry?” Hannah asked very calmly. She was staying calm, because the alternative was to yell and she had been trying really hard to reign in that MacNeil temper of hers.
“The-- little people.”
“The what?”
Harry gave her a panicked look and opened his mouth to explain when there was a crash from the storeroom and Elinor’s voice loudly saying, “Stop it right this instant, you horrible little creatures!”
If Hannah had been in a more relaxed state of mind, she might have laughed at how fast Harry moved trying to get to Elinor, but she was quite far from relaxed so she just followed him with a grim expression.
They rushed into the storeroom and Hannah’s jaw dropped.
It was entirely possible that Hannah was going to kill her best friend.
Slowly.
There were at least a dozen or so little...people standing on shelves and helping themselves to every type of liquor. More empty bottles littered the floor and it looked like some of the more industrious of the...people were trying to break into a keg in the corner.
The little people themselves looked remarkably just like regular people aside from the fact that they were only slightly less than a foot tall. Not to mention the fact they were pink. Not ruddy complected or blushing, they were pink. Bright candy-floss pink. Wearing little green coveralls. And proud grins.
They had obviously been in the midst of a friendly round of drinks (they’d opened the case of Gordon’s gin, Hannah couldn’t help by notice) when Elinor had found them and shouted. One industrious little fellow had completely ignored Elinor’s yell and still had his head inside a bottle of rum.
“Oh my God!” Hannah said looking around in dismay. “Elinor, what did you do?”
Elinor’s eyes were wide and her curls flew around her face as she spun around to see Hannah and Harry standing in the doorway to the storeroom.
“Oh, um, this isn’t my fault,” she said quickly. Hannah put her hands on her hips and glared. “Okay, okay. They might be my fault, but the destruction of property isn’t.” Elinor turned to face the perpetrators. “That’s all them.”
“Who the hell are they?” Hannah asked.
“Hey! Do ye mind not talkin’ about us as though we aren’t here?” a heavily accented voice spoke up.
“Yeah! Have ye no manners?” another voice chimed in.
Hannah transferred her glare from Elinor to the (and really, with all the things she’d seen, she still couldn’t believe what she was seeing) little pink men.
“Fine. Who the hell are you and why are you destroying my pub?” Hannah asked.
“Um, Hannah?” Harry said tentatively. “No need to get worked up.”
“Worked up?” she shrieked. “I’m looking at several hundred pounds of damage right now. Damage apparently caused by tiny little men! I think I’m entitled to get worked up!”
Harry and Elinor winced at the tone and high pitch of her of her voice.
One of the little men just said, “Oi! Who are you callin’ tiny?”
Hannah closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Elinor...”
“Okay. Just-- remember that you’re my best friend and we’re blood sisters,” Elinor said, her dark eyes troubled. Some of Hannah’s anger drifted away. If Elinor was invoking their ‘blood pact’ they made when they were ten (each girl had pricked their thumb with Elinor’s mum’s bronze brooch and then pressed their thumbs together, they had been ten, do keep that in mind), then things must be serious.
“What’s going on, Ellie?” Hannah asked quietly. Even the little men had settled down, sitting comfortably on the shelves, their tiny legs dangling over the sides as they continued to tipple from the bottles. One had even lit his pipe.
“Well, you know how I’ve been experimenting a bit? Seeing how much I can actually do? What type of power I’ve got?” Elinor asked.
“Ye-ah,” Hannah said. She looked around. “I’m guessing you’re a bit more powerful than we thought.”
“She sure is!” one of the men said. He stood up and leaned casually against a bottle of chardonnay. “She opened our door!”
“Their ‘door’?” Hannah asked raising her eyebrows.
“You see--” Elinor was cut off by the sound of someone entering the pub.
“What the-- Hannah? Hannah! Are you okay?” Evan’s slightly frantic voice broke through.
Just to make things very clear, Hannah did not get little shivers of pleasure at the sound of his voice being concerned about her. Nope. Not her.
“We’re in the storeroom,” she called out.
Evan appeared just a second after that and his face shifted from worried to relieved once he saw her.
However, all the little men snapped to attention and pulled out various weapons, scowls on their faces.
“Ooh! Looky here lads, a big beastie,” the main fellow said.
“A wolf in a man-suit,” another chimed in.
“What do we like to do to big beasties?” the leader said slapping his knife in the palm of his hand.
“Rip them apart!”
“Tear them new holes!”
“Fry up their ears!”
“Wear their tails as hats!”
Evan blinked and looked around. His mouth opened and closed. Then he said, “Right. Sorry. I have no idea how to respond to this.”
“Not the only one, mate,” Harry muttered.
“Elinor was just about to explain,” Hannah said, turning back to her friend. Evan came to stand just behind her, his presence giving Hannah a sense of calm.
“But, it’s a beastie!” the leader shouted. “We’ve got to deal with the beastie!”
“Look, little man--” Hannah said through gritted teeth.
“Glenn.”
“What?”
“I am Glenn of the Glen,” the little man said puffing up his chest. “Leader of the Glenlings.”
“Fine, Glenn, whatever,” Hannah said crossly. “There will be no ‘dealing with the beastie’. He’s harmless.”
“Thanks a lot,” Evan murmured.
“Deal with it,” Hannah murmured back. “Ellie?”
“Yes, okay. I was in the woods behind the house,” Elinor said. “And I was looking through the book I found last week. The one with the stars on the cover? Well, inside it sort of showed me how I couldopenadoor.”
“Showed you how to what?” Hannah asked.
“Open a door,” Elinor said slumping. “I thought it would just, I don’t know, make a portal or something. Let me get to your house faster. Like one of those wormhole things on that Star Trek show with the guy with the big ears?”
“Spock?” Evan asked.
“No, the other one,” Elinor said.
“Sarek?” Harry asked.
“No! The one who likes money and runs a bar,” Elinor said.
“Quark, Deep Space Nine,” both Evan and Harry said at the same time. They glanced at each other and then looked sheepish. The little men looked confused. Hannah rolled her eyes.
“Geeks,” she said. “All right. So you opened a door. What happened after that?”
Elinor waved her hand, “They all came tumbling out! And started running around saying they had been locked up for days!”
“Longer than days! Hours!” one little man with a green cap said.
“Hours are shorter than days, Finley,” Glenn said.
“They are not! Seconds are longer than days,” Finley said petulantly.
“No, they’re not! Remember, it goes: seconds, then hours, then days, then months, then way too long to even think about,” Glenn said.
Finley looked confused but a quick glance round showed his little mates plus Harry nodding their heads. He sighed. “It was still a really, really long time.”
“No one’s denyin’ that, lad,” Glenn said. “The witchy-woman did us a solid favor by lettin’ us out when she did. We might have resorted to all sorts of unmentionable things.”
“Like cannibalism!”
“Arts and crafts!”
“Morris dancing!”
“Okay!” Hannah shouted, holding up her hands. “While I readily concede the fact that Morris dancing can be considered an act against nature, why were you-- locked up behind a door to begin with?”
Tiny little faces stared back at her and shoulders shrugged.
“What? You don’t know?” Elinor asked. “How did it happen?”
“Well, we were ramblin’ about, as we do, and we sort felt this pull,” Glenn said.
“In our bellies!” Finley added.
“--and we walked towards the thing pullin’ us and then--pow!” he clapped his hands together. “We were in a little space with a door bein’ the only way out.”
Glenn turned his head and gave Elinor a big smile which immediately made him look like a garden gnome. “Then you came along and freed us! Thank you witchy-woman!”
A chorus of ‘thank-you’s’ and ‘hooray’s’ filled the air. Elinor blushed and smiled coyly. “Oh, it was nothing.”
“Not according to state of my pub, it’s not,” Hannah said.
“We needed a drink!” Glenn said frowning at Hannah. “You’d deprive us men of our right to a good drink after the calamity we’ve been through?”
“Have ye no heart, red?” another said.
Hannah’s eyes narrowed. “The next person to call me ‘red’ will get stuffed in a bottle and thrown in the river.”
“Oooh, I’d like to see ye try--red,” Glenn said before taking a leisurely drink of Hannah’s most expensive merlot.
“Right. That’s it.” Hannah clenched her fists and took a menacing step towards the little man. Several men hopped in front of their leader and brandished their weapons at Hannah.
“Whoa! Easy, easy now,” Evan said, his arm snaking around Hannah’s waist and pulling her back from the Glenlings. Her back pressed against his chest and his other hand came to rest on her shoulder. “Not worth it,” he whispered in her ear. Hannah bristled. She had a good retort for him. Absolutely. People did not just call her off like that. She had a saying for just this type of scenario.
Which she’d think of as soon as the shock of being pressed so close to his body and she could get past how absurdly good he smelled.
“Look,” Hannah said eventually after taking some deep breaths. “Elinor: it’s great that you’ve got powers, but there are little people running amok in my pub. Which means that once they’ve finished running amok in my pub, they’ll get started on the rest of the town. Which isn’t a good idea.”
“I beg your pardon, but we do not run mucks,” Glenn said. “We run very gracefully and with great speed, thank you kindly.”
“Like little bunny rabbits!” Finley said.
Glenn sighed. “What have I said about the bunny rabbits?”
“They aren’t fittin’ comparisons to manly men of our stature?” Finley said.
“Right.”
“O-kay. You have a point actually,” Elinor said.
“The Wee Free Men!” Harry shouted out, startling the entire room.
“What?” Evan asked.
“I just figured out who these guys remind me of,” Harry said grinning. “You guys are spitting images of the Wee Free Men.”
“The who?” Evan asked, his arm slid from Hannah’s mid-section, but he kept his other hand on her shoulder.
“The Wee Free Men,” Harry said, gesturing at the little men.
“Haven’t you ever read Terry Pratchett?” Elinor asked.
“Uh, no?” Evan said uncertainly.
The entire room, including the Glenlings, gasped.
“But, but, it’s Terry Pratchett,” Elinor said with a very serious tone.
“I highly recommend him, especially if you live here,” Hannah said looking at him over her shoulder.
“I’ll be sure to pop round to the library,” Evan said sounding mystified.
“He’s a right good storyman,” Glenn said with an authoritative nod. “And I hate to be contradictin’ the young man, but we were here first. The storyman got his inspiration from us.
The other Glenlings nodded and murmured ‘that’s right’ and ‘you tell it, Glenn’.
“So, Terry Pratchett took you guys and turned you into characters in a children’s story?” Evan asked.
“It’s not a children’s story,” Elinor, Hannah and Harry said in unison.
“It’s a coming-of-age tale with multiple aspects that appeal to all ages,” Harry said.
“It’s not a children’s story,” Elinor repeated
“It’s really not,” Hannah said.
“Well, then I heartily retract my statement,” Evan said blinking.
“He gave us blue skin and silly hats though,” Finley said. He straightened his coveralls. “I’ve always considered green to be quite fetchin’.”
“I think they go very well with your skin tone,” Elinor said soothingly. “You’re all clearly summers.”
Evan just managed to turn his snort into a cough and Hannah elbowed his stomach.
“Back to my original point,” Hannah said. “They cannot be allowed to be let loose on the village. They most certainly cannot be in my pub!”
“I believe that we can go anywhere that tickles our fancy,” Glenn said his eyes narrowed. “Right, lads?”
“Right!”
“Wait, wait, hold on,” Harry said holding up his hands. “You said that if Elinor hadn’t come along, you’d still be locked up behind that door, correct?”
“You are correct,” Glenn said with a nod of his head.
“Then it seems to me that you owe Elinor,” Harry said. Everyone stared at him. “What? You do! You already said she did you a ‘solid favour’, do Glenlings welch on their favours?”
“They most certainly do not!” Glenn said straightening to his full height. He turned to Elinor. “Witchy-woman, we, the Glenlings, are in your debt. As this is your territory, we will abide by your rules and give you assistance should you require it.”
The Glenlings then all bowed to Elinor, some bowed so low their noses touched the ground. Hannah could feel Evan shaking with suppressed laughter and elbowed his stomach again. He squeezed her shoulder.
“Well, that’s really-- very kind of you,” Elinor said, her voice tremulous with amusement. “I believe the first thing I’d like you to do would be to clean up Hannah’s pub. It was very naughty of you to just take barge in and drink her alcohol without asking first.”
“Or paying,” Hannah added.
“Lads! Hop to!” Glenn said. Then they were gone.
Hannah blinked and looked around the storeroom. She couldn’t see the Glenlings anymore, but could hear chairs and tables being returned to their original positions in the bar and empty bottles appeared in the recycle bin. She blinked again and the Glenlings were standing in straight rows at Elinor’s feet.
“Wow. That was...wow,” Harry said.
“Yeah,” Evan said looking around. “Damn.”
“Thank you, gentlemen,” Elinor said smiling at the Glenlings. “In the future, if you wish to have a drink, you must ask Hannah first. She’s the pub owner.”
Little heads swivelled to look at Hannah.
“You’re the keeper of the drink?” Glenn asked.
“I am,” Hannah replied.
“Hmm,” Glenn said. “We’ll try to remember to ask first.”
“Thank you,” Hannah said feeling the start of a headache coming on.
“Now, you really must keep a low profile,” Elinor said. “Especially in the village. No causing commotions or stealing from anyone, is that understood?”
The Glenlings all grumbled their understanding and nodded.
Finley raised his hand.
“Yes, Finley?” Elinor said.
“Beggin’ your pardon, miss witchy-woman,” he said. “But does ‘no causing commotions’ include the goat and two sheep we, um, borrowed already?”
⌘ ⌘ ⌘ ⌘ ⌘
Later that night as Hannah tended bar, Evan’s eyes kept darting to the floor half afraid he’d step on some little pink person.
“Can I just say that was one of the weirdest mornings I’ve ever had?” he said to her. “That includes the first morning I woke up after being bitten.”
“Welcome to Cwm Alaw,” Hannah said dryly. “I can’t believe they stole a goat. What were they going to do with it?”
“Are you sure you want to know?” he asked.
“Fair point,” she conceded.
Evan raised his glass and froze with it halfway to his mouth. Every single nerve in his body, every single instinct froze and he could feel the beginnings of a proper growl start in his throat. Slowly, he lowered the glass to the bar and turned ever so slightly on the stool.
A man had entered the bar. His hair was light blond with skin so pale it was almost translucent. He wore a simple button-down white shirt with a brown vest and tan trousers. The man was looking around the pub, but Evan knew, he just knew, the man was very aware of Evan’s presence.
The growl threatened to emerge from Evan’s mouth.
“Hey, Davis,” Hannah said brightly. “Long time no see.”
Hannah knew this creature? Because it was most certainly a creature and not a man. For one, Evan couldn’t make out a pulse or any sign of life about him.
“Hello, Hannah,” the pale creature said with a smile. Evan felt his spine shiver. His hackles started to rise. “I’ve been away for a few weeks. Meetings with publishers and editors, you know.”
“Well, it’s lovely to see you back,” Hannah said. “We’ve had some new additions to the village since you’ve been gone.”
The creature finally met Evan’s eyes. “So I see.”
Evan swallowed the growl and stood up. Yelling at the wolf inside him to back down and let the man take charge, he held out his hand. “Evan Michaels. And you are?”
The man smirked and said, “Davis. That’s all I go by these days.” He shook Evan’s hand and the cold, unnatural feel and scent of him bombarded Evan’s senses.
This guy’s a vampire. The thought slammed into Evan’s mind and the grip of his hand tightened. Davis’ eyes flashed and a grin appeared on his face.
“Well, well, a werewolf in our midst,” he said. “Will wonders never cease.”
Davis tightened his own grip on Evan’s hand and the two men stared at each other.
“Umm, if the two of you are planning on throwing down or whipping them out, would you mind doing it outside?” Hannah asked. “My poor pub’s been through enough today.”
The two men let go of the other’s hand and Evan gave Hannah a sheepish look. She just raised an eyebrow in his direction.
“So, are you on your own or is your pack nearby?” Davis asked, casually putting his hands in his trouser pockets.
“I don’t have a pack,” Evan said, squaring his shoulders and still yelling at the wolf to settle down.
“No pack? How rare,” Davis said. “Still, we do live in modern times. If I can survive without a nest, I’m sure you can survive without a pack.”
Davis gave Hannah a slow grin. “Hannah, my love, I don’t suppose you have any of that gorgeous red wine I tried the last time I was here?”
“I’m afraid it was drunk earlier today,” Hannah said. “A casualty of what I’m referring to as the Great Little Pink Man Invasion.”
“Ah, yes. I thought I smelled pictsies earlier today,” he said. “Did they by any chance do away with Mrs. Figgins’ goat?”
“That would be them,” Hannah said. She shook her head. “Keep an eye for them.”
“Oh, I doubt they’ll bother with me,” Davis said. “They tend to keep their distance from those of us without, well, you know.”
His smile was both charming and self-deprecating. The wolf inside Evan snorted while Hannah gave Davis a sympathetic look.
“No matter,” Davis said. “I’ve got deadlines. That ridiculous book won’t write itself. Just wanted to stop by and say ‘hello’. I’ll stop in some other evening, shall I?”
“Of course,” Hannah said. “I should get a new delivery of wine by next week.”
“Splendid,” Davis said. He took Hannah’s hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. Evan’s hands clenched and it was all he could do to hold himself from wrenching the other man away from her. “As always Hannah, a pleasure.” Davis turned to Evan and gave him that smirk again. “Mr. Michaels. Lovely to meet you.”
“Pleasure’s all mine,” Evan said evenly.
They didn’t shake hands.
Evan watched as Davis walked out the door and it wasn’t until he couldn’t smell him anymore did he relax. He turned back to the bar and his pint and noticed Hannah staring at him.
“What?” he asked taking a long drink.
“‘What?’, he says,” Hannah said. “What was that?”
“Beats me,” Evan said. She glared. “Look, I don’t know! The guy unsettled me. He wasn’t natural.”
“Because a guy that was a wolf running about the woods no less than twelve hours ago is perfectly natural?” she said.
“Believe me, the point is taken,” Evan said. “I just didn’t like him.”
Hannah shook her head and walked away to serve a couple at the other end of the bar.
Evan stared at his drink and contemplated Davis’ words. Was he supposed to have a pack?
Hannah came back by after a quarter of an hour. “Are you going to drink that or nurse it all night?” she asked nodding at his pint.
Evan gave her a look and then proceeded to down the rest of his pint in one go. He delicately placed the glass on the bar. “I’ll have another, barkeep.”
“Dork,” Hannah said with a smile. As she pulled him another pint, her eye was caught by Elinor and Harry sitting quite cosily in the corner next to the fireplace. Harry said something and Elinor laughed and put her hand on his arm. His cheeks flushed instantly.
“I never thought I’d see the day that happened,” Hannah muttered shaking her head. “Elinor and Harry bloody Porter.”
Evan looked over at the pair one inch away from cuddling. “What’s wrong? He’s a good bloke.”
“It’s not that,” Hannah said sliding his fresh pint to him. “She’d just always said she wanted to keep him as a mate. That he wasn’t exactly boyfriend material.”
“How exactly is he not boyfriend material?” Evan asked. “If it wasn’t for him, we might still be ankle-deep in little pink men.”
“Well, to paraphrase some wise words from the great Hermione Granger most men have the emotional range of a teaspoon,” Hannah said. “As many good qualities as Harry is possessed with, I’m not sure if he’s truly prepared to handle Elinor romantically.”
“Give him a chance,” Evan said. “He’s already devoted to her, the rest’ll sort itself out.”
“I suppose,” Hannah said.
Evan sipped his lager and frowned. “Wait? A teaspoon?”
“Yep.”
“I’m almost afraid to ask, but where do I fall in the cutlery drawer?” Evan asked. Hannah sized him up, looking him over with narrowed eyes.
“You’re probably a fork,” she said at last.
“A fork?” he repeated. “Really?”
“Yeah, you’re not blunt like a spoon or flat like a knife,” she said. “You’re actually rather multi-faceted.”
“Shouldn’t that be multi-pronged?” he asked.
Hannah burst out laughing. “Yes! You are most definitely multi-pronged.”
Evan chuckled and asked, “So what is the best emotional utensil one should strive towards? A spatula? A ladle? A cheese grater?”
“Don’t be silly,” she said. “A cheese grater isn’t a utensil, it’s a tool. And not a spatula, either. Too boring.”
“A ladle might mean you’re deep,” Evan said, wondering why on earth he was having this conversation, but couldn’t seem to drag himself away from the bar.
“True... Oh! I know!” Hannah turned and grinned at him. “A whisk!”
“A whisk?” he asked.
“Yes! It has all those wires and it can mix things up quickly and is a very intricate piece of kitchenware.” She looked pleased with herself.
“So, that’s your new standard for men, is it?” he asked. “They need to be able to stir eggs in under three minutes?”
“Sure, why not?” Hannah said. “I can certainly think of worse ways of picking a date.” She gave Elinor and Harry another look and her brow furrowed.
Evan nodded and studied his drink, while surreptitiously glancing at Hannah’s hands as they dried the pint glasses. He cleared his throat. “You know, you can stir eggs just as well with a fork.”
He chanced a look at her face. Her lips were curved into a small smile and she said, “It’s a good thing, too. I don’t even own a whisk.”
Evan returned her slow smile and enjoyed the light blush that spread across her cheeks. Hannah looked away first.
“There is something that bothers me from earlier today,” Evan said.
“Only one thing?” Hannah asked wryly.
“The Glenlings said they felt pulled here,” Evan said. “Now that I think about it, the night I ended up on your doorstep, I didn’t just start running in a random direction.”
“You didn’t?” Hannah asked, her brow furrowing.
Evan shook his head. “I knew I needed to get away from the city, away from people. Christ, just away. So, I hopped on the train heading south of Manchester and kind of--followed my nose.”
The corners of Hannah’s mouth lifted up.
“Yeah, don’t laugh,” Evan said chuckling. “So, anyway the next thing I know, my nose is telling me to get off in Bangor of all places. I get off, find the nearest forest and here I am.”
“Naked on my front porch,” Hannah finished. “So, you’re saying you were ‘pulled’, too?”
Evan shrugged. “I think that’s what I’m saying.”
“Hunh.” Hannah put a hand on her hip and looked out the front window into the night. “If that’s true and what the Glenlings felt was true, too, then what’s doing the pulling?”
“Or who?” Evan said.
Their eyes met and despite the warmth of the pub, both of them shivered.
Fandom: Teeth, Claws and Guinness
Ship: Various original pairings
Word Count: 5.692
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: They are, well, actually, these guys are mine. All of them. I did borrow a set of characters from Terry Pratchett. However, if you ask them, they’ll say they were their own to begin with and he borrowed them. Either way, no infringement meant! Also the title comes from This Must be the Place by the Talking Heads.
A/N: Well, here's some more of this mad thing. I'm posting this un-betaed, so if there are any mistakes, they are totally mine. I hope you enjoy the latest installment!
Summary: Evan has just undergone his first transformation in Cwm Alaw. But, what exactly has Elinor done and what has happened to Hannah’s pub?
When Evan woke, the first thing he saw was an irate squirrel. It chittered at him and then ran up the large oak tree that bordered a small clearing.
Evan groaned as he stretched from a fetal position. He rolled to his stomach and placing his hands flat on the ground he pushed himself off the forest floor. Standing a trifle unsteadily, he took stock of himself.
Naked? Check.
Aching muscles? Check.
Did you eat anything last night? He ran his tongue over his teeth. Nothing tasted odd. So, apparently not. Check.
Are you in the middle of the woods and have at least a mile to walk? Check.
Rolling his shoulders trying to pop some joints back into place, Evan started his walk back towards civilization. His hands eventually found their way underneath his arms to attempt to ward off the chill. He could just see the outlines of Hannah’s house in the distance and picked up the pace.
“Woo! Nice arse!” was suddenly yelled from somewhere behind him.
Evan yelped and darted behind a tree. “Damn it, Hannah! How long have you been there?”
“Long enough for it to be worth the full price of admission,” she called out. “I figured you’d want some pants.”
“Figured right,” he said. “Now, throw them over here.”
“All right, all right, keep your shirt on. Oh, wait.” Evan shook his head while she giggled and threw a bag in his direction.
“You know I’ve seen it all before,” she said as he got dressed still using the tree for cover.
“Yeah, but I was unconscious at the time,” he said pulling a jumper over his head. “It’s different when I’m awake.”
“Ooh, is it?”
Evan just chuckled and shook his head. Once dressed he looked around the tree and saw Hannah sitting primly next to the trunk of a pine tree. She was building a tiny house out of pine needles and grinned when she noticed him watching.
“How did your evening go?” she asked standing up and brushing off her jeans.
“Okay, I think,” he said falling into step beside her as they walked towards the house. “I’m fairly sure I didn’t maul anything.”
“How do you feel?”
He adjusted his shoulders again and was surprised to only feel a few lingering twinges, not the all encompassing ache that had always followed after an evening spent in his old small flat.
“Not too bad,” he said. “Only a little sore.”
“Well, have a soak if you want,” she said when they reached the house. “Elinor always giving me herbal bath stuff, so feel free to try some of them out.”
“Not sure I want to smell like flowers all day, but thanks,” he said following her inside as she entered the kitchen.
“Oh, come on. You’re a big bad wolf,” she said facing him with a grin. “You’ve more than proved your manliness. Go on. Smell like flowers.”
“Cute,” he said dryly, heading for the kettle.
“I heard you actually.”
“What?” Evan turned around, a mug dangling from his fingers. “You what?”
“I heard you. Last night,” she said as she leaned against the kitchen table. “It was shortly after I got home, so around two or so. I distinctly heard a wolf’s howl.”
“Really?” he asked wondrously. “What did it sound like?”
Hannah tilted her head and a small smile appeared on her face. “Happy, I think. You know, content, possibly. It wasn’t like ‘Grr, I’m about to devour a young maiden’, it was more, ‘Hey! I’m out here!’”
She held her hands palms out with fingers spread wide. Evan frowned.
“Are you implying that I somehow made a howl with,” he swallowed, “jazz hands?”
Hannah dissolved into laughter. “That’s really not what I meant!” She tried to get her laughter under control while Evan continued to glare. “Look, it was a happy howl. I promise.”
Evan gave her one last glare before making two mugs of tea. He had just added Hannah’s second spoonful of sugar when there was a loud knocking at the door.
“Goodness, who’s that?” Hannah said. She walked to the front door, Evan not far behind her. She opened the door to a frantic Harry Porter. The tall fellow walked in right past them both speaking a mile a minute.
Evan only caught “...and she’s opened some kind of door and they’re all over the pub and I really tried to warn her, but you know Elinor, she just doesn’t bloody listen. Hey there, Evan, you sounded really cheerful last night. Hannah, you’ve got to come now.” Harry looked frantic and his eyes were wide. Evan glanced at Hannah who glanced at Evan. She shrugged her shoulders.
“Ellie likes to experiment and has a tendency to overdo things,” Hannah said. Harry let out a high-pitched snort and then coughed. “All right, Harry. Let’s go see what she’s done now.”
“I think they were headed to the pub last time I looked. Ellie headed that way,” Harry said bouncing on the balls of his feet.
She turned to Evan. “Will you be okay?”
“Give me another two cups of tea, a soak in the bath and I’ll be in fighting form,” Evan said.
“Good!” Harry said nodding seriously. “We may need you.”
Hannah and Evan gave Harry and then each other another look. “Right,” Hannah said slowly. “Well, come by the pub when you’re feeling up to it.”
“Will do,” Evan said. He frowned as Harry started talking rapidly once again as Hannah walked out with him to Harry’s van. Evan thought he heard the words ‘little pink men’ but he must have misheard.
Right?
He decided to make it just one cup of tea and shower.
Harry Porter was twitching and his fingers on the steering wheel kept clenching.
“Harry, she’s fine,” Hannah said from her spot in the passenger’s seat.
“Ha! You didn’t see what she did,” Harry said his voice breaking a little. “We thought she only had a little bit of power. Ha! Nothing little about it.”
Hannah frowned. Elinor had been restless lately, reading lots of books she’d dug out from places Hannah was a little wary about asking about. But, surely she hadn’t done anything rash?
She stole another look at Harry’s pinched expression. Crap. Elinor did something rash. Poor Harry. The fellow had had a crush on Elinor since he and his family moved to the village when he was twelve. He’d taken one look at the little girl with the crazy curls and fallen head over feet. Literally. The bloke fell off his front porch when Elinor had walked past. Elinor, being who she was, immediately went to help him up and the initial spark of interest blazed into a fire deep inside of Harry’s heart.
After ten years, that fire hadn’t been banked once. Despite Elinor’s lack of interest. It wasn’t that she didn’t know about it. She was well aware of her effect on Harry. She just didn’t want to lose a friend. Or at least that’s what she told Hannah when they were sixteen.
Hannah called her a chicken and bawked and flapped her arms. Elinor called Hannah a ginger-minger and the conversation dissolved into a pillow fight and the subject was never spoken of again. Things just continued on as they always had: Harry adored Elinor from a safe distance and Elinor treated him like a mate. Hannah just rolled her eyes.
Harry pulled up to the pub and slammed on the brakes. They jumped out of the van and Hannah frowned when she saw the front door was ajar. She walked inside and froze in dismay.
Several tables were overturned in the Sheep and Crow and chairs lay on their sides. Hannah sucked in a breath. Her eyes immediately went to the bar and her heart sank at the sight of a tray of smashed pint glasses. She actually let out a tiny sound at empty bottles of Jack Daniels and Jose Cuervo spinning idly on the countertop.
She thanked all the deities she knew that it was only going on nine in the morning and that her deliveries wouldn’t start until lunchtime.
“I guess they’ve been here,” Harry said hesitantly standing a few feet away eyeing the mess and Hannah with an equal amount of trepidation.
“Who have been here, Harry?” Hannah asked very calmly. She was staying calm, because the alternative was to yell and she had been trying really hard to reign in that MacNeil temper of hers.
“The-- little people.”
“The what?”
Harry gave her a panicked look and opened his mouth to explain when there was a crash from the storeroom and Elinor’s voice loudly saying, “Stop it right this instant, you horrible little creatures!”
If Hannah had been in a more relaxed state of mind, she might have laughed at how fast Harry moved trying to get to Elinor, but she was quite far from relaxed so she just followed him with a grim expression.
They rushed into the storeroom and Hannah’s jaw dropped.
It was entirely possible that Hannah was going to kill her best friend.
Slowly.
There were at least a dozen or so little...people standing on shelves and helping themselves to every type of liquor. More empty bottles littered the floor and it looked like some of the more industrious of the...people were trying to break into a keg in the corner.
The little people themselves looked remarkably just like regular people aside from the fact that they were only slightly less than a foot tall. Not to mention the fact they were pink. Not ruddy complected or blushing, they were pink. Bright candy-floss pink. Wearing little green coveralls. And proud grins.
They had obviously been in the midst of a friendly round of drinks (they’d opened the case of Gordon’s gin, Hannah couldn’t help by notice) when Elinor had found them and shouted. One industrious little fellow had completely ignored Elinor’s yell and still had his head inside a bottle of rum.
“Oh my God!” Hannah said looking around in dismay. “Elinor, what did you do?”
Elinor’s eyes were wide and her curls flew around her face as she spun around to see Hannah and Harry standing in the doorway to the storeroom.
“Oh, um, this isn’t my fault,” she said quickly. Hannah put her hands on her hips and glared. “Okay, okay. They might be my fault, but the destruction of property isn’t.” Elinor turned to face the perpetrators. “That’s all them.”
“Who the hell are they?” Hannah asked.
“Hey! Do ye mind not talkin’ about us as though we aren’t here?” a heavily accented voice spoke up.
“Yeah! Have ye no manners?” another voice chimed in.
Hannah transferred her glare from Elinor to the (and really, with all the things she’d seen, she still couldn’t believe what she was seeing) little pink men.
“Fine. Who the hell are you and why are you destroying my pub?” Hannah asked.
“Um, Hannah?” Harry said tentatively. “No need to get worked up.”
“Worked up?” she shrieked. “I’m looking at several hundred pounds of damage right now. Damage apparently caused by tiny little men! I think I’m entitled to get worked up!”
Harry and Elinor winced at the tone and high pitch of her of her voice.
One of the little men just said, “Oi! Who are you callin’ tiny?”
Hannah closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Elinor...”
“Okay. Just-- remember that you’re my best friend and we’re blood sisters,” Elinor said, her dark eyes troubled. Some of Hannah’s anger drifted away. If Elinor was invoking their ‘blood pact’ they made when they were ten (each girl had pricked their thumb with Elinor’s mum’s bronze brooch and then pressed their thumbs together, they had been ten, do keep that in mind), then things must be serious.
“What’s going on, Ellie?” Hannah asked quietly. Even the little men had settled down, sitting comfortably on the shelves, their tiny legs dangling over the sides as they continued to tipple from the bottles. One had even lit his pipe.
“Well, you know how I’ve been experimenting a bit? Seeing how much I can actually do? What type of power I’ve got?” Elinor asked.
“Ye-ah,” Hannah said. She looked around. “I’m guessing you’re a bit more powerful than we thought.”
“She sure is!” one of the men said. He stood up and leaned casually against a bottle of chardonnay. “She opened our door!”
“Their ‘door’?” Hannah asked raising her eyebrows.
“You see--” Elinor was cut off by the sound of someone entering the pub.
“What the-- Hannah? Hannah! Are you okay?” Evan’s slightly frantic voice broke through.
Just to make things very clear, Hannah did not get little shivers of pleasure at the sound of his voice being concerned about her. Nope. Not her.
“We’re in the storeroom,” she called out.
Evan appeared just a second after that and his face shifted from worried to relieved once he saw her.
However, all the little men snapped to attention and pulled out various weapons, scowls on their faces.
“Ooh! Looky here lads, a big beastie,” the main fellow said.
“A wolf in a man-suit,” another chimed in.
“What do we like to do to big beasties?” the leader said slapping his knife in the palm of his hand.
“Rip them apart!”
“Tear them new holes!”
“Fry up their ears!”
“Wear their tails as hats!”
Evan blinked and looked around. His mouth opened and closed. Then he said, “Right. Sorry. I have no idea how to respond to this.”
“Not the only one, mate,” Harry muttered.
“Elinor was just about to explain,” Hannah said, turning back to her friend. Evan came to stand just behind her, his presence giving Hannah a sense of calm.
“But, it’s a beastie!” the leader shouted. “We’ve got to deal with the beastie!”
“Look, little man--” Hannah said through gritted teeth.
“Glenn.”
“What?”
“I am Glenn of the Glen,” the little man said puffing up his chest. “Leader of the Glenlings.”
“Fine, Glenn, whatever,” Hannah said crossly. “There will be no ‘dealing with the beastie’. He’s harmless.”
“Thanks a lot,” Evan murmured.
“Deal with it,” Hannah murmured back. “Ellie?”
“Yes, okay. I was in the woods behind the house,” Elinor said. “And I was looking through the book I found last week. The one with the stars on the cover? Well, inside it sort of showed me how I couldopenadoor.”
“Showed you how to what?” Hannah asked.
“Open a door,” Elinor said slumping. “I thought it would just, I don’t know, make a portal or something. Let me get to your house faster. Like one of those wormhole things on that Star Trek show with the guy with the big ears?”
“Spock?” Evan asked.
“No, the other one,” Elinor said.
“Sarek?” Harry asked.
“No! The one who likes money and runs a bar,” Elinor said.
“Quark, Deep Space Nine,” both Evan and Harry said at the same time. They glanced at each other and then looked sheepish. The little men looked confused. Hannah rolled her eyes.
“Geeks,” she said. “All right. So you opened a door. What happened after that?”
Elinor waved her hand, “They all came tumbling out! And started running around saying they had been locked up for days!”
“Longer than days! Hours!” one little man with a green cap said.
“Hours are shorter than days, Finley,” Glenn said.
“They are not! Seconds are longer than days,” Finley said petulantly.
“No, they’re not! Remember, it goes: seconds, then hours, then days, then months, then way too long to even think about,” Glenn said.
Finley looked confused but a quick glance round showed his little mates plus Harry nodding their heads. He sighed. “It was still a really, really long time.”
“No one’s denyin’ that, lad,” Glenn said. “The witchy-woman did us a solid favor by lettin’ us out when she did. We might have resorted to all sorts of unmentionable things.”
“Like cannibalism!”
“Arts and crafts!”
“Morris dancing!”
“Okay!” Hannah shouted, holding up her hands. “While I readily concede the fact that Morris dancing can be considered an act against nature, why were you-- locked up behind a door to begin with?”
Tiny little faces stared back at her and shoulders shrugged.
“What? You don’t know?” Elinor asked. “How did it happen?”
“Well, we were ramblin’ about, as we do, and we sort felt this pull,” Glenn said.
“In our bellies!” Finley added.
“--and we walked towards the thing pullin’ us and then--pow!” he clapped his hands together. “We were in a little space with a door bein’ the only way out.”
Glenn turned his head and gave Elinor a big smile which immediately made him look like a garden gnome. “Then you came along and freed us! Thank you witchy-woman!”
A chorus of ‘thank-you’s’ and ‘hooray’s’ filled the air. Elinor blushed and smiled coyly. “Oh, it was nothing.”
“Not according to state of my pub, it’s not,” Hannah said.
“We needed a drink!” Glenn said frowning at Hannah. “You’d deprive us men of our right to a good drink after the calamity we’ve been through?”
“Have ye no heart, red?” another said.
Hannah’s eyes narrowed. “The next person to call me ‘red’ will get stuffed in a bottle and thrown in the river.”
“Oooh, I’d like to see ye try--red,” Glenn said before taking a leisurely drink of Hannah’s most expensive merlot.
“Right. That’s it.” Hannah clenched her fists and took a menacing step towards the little man. Several men hopped in front of their leader and brandished their weapons at Hannah.
“Whoa! Easy, easy now,” Evan said, his arm snaking around Hannah’s waist and pulling her back from the Glenlings. Her back pressed against his chest and his other hand came to rest on her shoulder. “Not worth it,” he whispered in her ear. Hannah bristled. She had a good retort for him. Absolutely. People did not just call her off like that. She had a saying for just this type of scenario.
Which she’d think of as soon as the shock of being pressed so close to his body and she could get past how absurdly good he smelled.
“Look,” Hannah said eventually after taking some deep breaths. “Elinor: it’s great that you’ve got powers, but there are little people running amok in my pub. Which means that once they’ve finished running amok in my pub, they’ll get started on the rest of the town. Which isn’t a good idea.”
“I beg your pardon, but we do not run mucks,” Glenn said. “We run very gracefully and with great speed, thank you kindly.”
“Like little bunny rabbits!” Finley said.
Glenn sighed. “What have I said about the bunny rabbits?”
“They aren’t fittin’ comparisons to manly men of our stature?” Finley said.
“Right.”
“O-kay. You have a point actually,” Elinor said.
“The Wee Free Men!” Harry shouted out, startling the entire room.
“What?” Evan asked.
“I just figured out who these guys remind me of,” Harry said grinning. “You guys are spitting images of the Wee Free Men.”
“The who?” Evan asked, his arm slid from Hannah’s mid-section, but he kept his other hand on her shoulder.
“The Wee Free Men,” Harry said, gesturing at the little men.
“Haven’t you ever read Terry Pratchett?” Elinor asked.
“Uh, no?” Evan said uncertainly.
The entire room, including the Glenlings, gasped.
“But, but, it’s Terry Pratchett,” Elinor said with a very serious tone.
“I highly recommend him, especially if you live here,” Hannah said looking at him over her shoulder.
“I’ll be sure to pop round to the library,” Evan said sounding mystified.
“He’s a right good storyman,” Glenn said with an authoritative nod. “And I hate to be contradictin’ the young man, but we were here first. The storyman got his inspiration from us.
The other Glenlings nodded and murmured ‘that’s right’ and ‘you tell it, Glenn’.
“So, Terry Pratchett took you guys and turned you into characters in a children’s story?” Evan asked.
“It’s not a children’s story,” Elinor, Hannah and Harry said in unison.
“It’s a coming-of-age tale with multiple aspects that appeal to all ages,” Harry said.
“It’s not a children’s story,” Elinor repeated
“It’s really not,” Hannah said.
“Well, then I heartily retract my statement,” Evan said blinking.
“He gave us blue skin and silly hats though,” Finley said. He straightened his coveralls. “I’ve always considered green to be quite fetchin’.”
“I think they go very well with your skin tone,” Elinor said soothingly. “You’re all clearly summers.”
Evan just managed to turn his snort into a cough and Hannah elbowed his stomach.
“Back to my original point,” Hannah said. “They cannot be allowed to be let loose on the village. They most certainly cannot be in my pub!”
“I believe that we can go anywhere that tickles our fancy,” Glenn said his eyes narrowed. “Right, lads?”
“Right!”
“Wait, wait, hold on,” Harry said holding up his hands. “You said that if Elinor hadn’t come along, you’d still be locked up behind that door, correct?”
“You are correct,” Glenn said with a nod of his head.
“Then it seems to me that you owe Elinor,” Harry said. Everyone stared at him. “What? You do! You already said she did you a ‘solid favour’, do Glenlings welch on their favours?”
“They most certainly do not!” Glenn said straightening to his full height. He turned to Elinor. “Witchy-woman, we, the Glenlings, are in your debt. As this is your territory, we will abide by your rules and give you assistance should you require it.”
The Glenlings then all bowed to Elinor, some bowed so low their noses touched the ground. Hannah could feel Evan shaking with suppressed laughter and elbowed his stomach again. He squeezed her shoulder.
“Well, that’s really-- very kind of you,” Elinor said, her voice tremulous with amusement. “I believe the first thing I’d like you to do would be to clean up Hannah’s pub. It was very naughty of you to just take barge in and drink her alcohol without asking first.”
“Or paying,” Hannah added.
“Lads! Hop to!” Glenn said. Then they were gone.
Hannah blinked and looked around the storeroom. She couldn’t see the Glenlings anymore, but could hear chairs and tables being returned to their original positions in the bar and empty bottles appeared in the recycle bin. She blinked again and the Glenlings were standing in straight rows at Elinor’s feet.
“Wow. That was...wow,” Harry said.
“Yeah,” Evan said looking around. “Damn.”
“Thank you, gentlemen,” Elinor said smiling at the Glenlings. “In the future, if you wish to have a drink, you must ask Hannah first. She’s the pub owner.”
Little heads swivelled to look at Hannah.
“You’re the keeper of the drink?” Glenn asked.
“I am,” Hannah replied.
“Hmm,” Glenn said. “We’ll try to remember to ask first.”
“Thank you,” Hannah said feeling the start of a headache coming on.
“Now, you really must keep a low profile,” Elinor said. “Especially in the village. No causing commotions or stealing from anyone, is that understood?”
The Glenlings all grumbled their understanding and nodded.
Finley raised his hand.
“Yes, Finley?” Elinor said.
“Beggin’ your pardon, miss witchy-woman,” he said. “But does ‘no causing commotions’ include the goat and two sheep we, um, borrowed already?”
Later that night as Hannah tended bar, Evan’s eyes kept darting to the floor half afraid he’d step on some little pink person.
“Can I just say that was one of the weirdest mornings I’ve ever had?” he said to her. “That includes the first morning I woke up after being bitten.”
“Welcome to Cwm Alaw,” Hannah said dryly. “I can’t believe they stole a goat. What were they going to do with it?”
“Are you sure you want to know?” he asked.
“Fair point,” she conceded.
Evan raised his glass and froze with it halfway to his mouth. Every single nerve in his body, every single instinct froze and he could feel the beginnings of a proper growl start in his throat. Slowly, he lowered the glass to the bar and turned ever so slightly on the stool.
A man had entered the bar. His hair was light blond with skin so pale it was almost translucent. He wore a simple button-down white shirt with a brown vest and tan trousers. The man was looking around the pub, but Evan knew, he just knew, the man was very aware of Evan’s presence.
The growl threatened to emerge from Evan’s mouth.
“Hey, Davis,” Hannah said brightly. “Long time no see.”
Hannah knew this creature? Because it was most certainly a creature and not a man. For one, Evan couldn’t make out a pulse or any sign of life about him.
“Hello, Hannah,” the pale creature said with a smile. Evan felt his spine shiver. His hackles started to rise. “I’ve been away for a few weeks. Meetings with publishers and editors, you know.”
“Well, it’s lovely to see you back,” Hannah said. “We’ve had some new additions to the village since you’ve been gone.”
The creature finally met Evan’s eyes. “So I see.”
Evan swallowed the growl and stood up. Yelling at the wolf inside him to back down and let the man take charge, he held out his hand. “Evan Michaels. And you are?”
The man smirked and said, “Davis. That’s all I go by these days.” He shook Evan’s hand and the cold, unnatural feel and scent of him bombarded Evan’s senses.
This guy’s a vampire. The thought slammed into Evan’s mind and the grip of his hand tightened. Davis’ eyes flashed and a grin appeared on his face.
“Well, well, a werewolf in our midst,” he said. “Will wonders never cease.”
Davis tightened his own grip on Evan’s hand and the two men stared at each other.
“Umm, if the two of you are planning on throwing down or whipping them out, would you mind doing it outside?” Hannah asked. “My poor pub’s been through enough today.”
The two men let go of the other’s hand and Evan gave Hannah a sheepish look. She just raised an eyebrow in his direction.
“So, are you on your own or is your pack nearby?” Davis asked, casually putting his hands in his trouser pockets.
“I don’t have a pack,” Evan said, squaring his shoulders and still yelling at the wolf to settle down.
“No pack? How rare,” Davis said. “Still, we do live in modern times. If I can survive without a nest, I’m sure you can survive without a pack.”
Davis gave Hannah a slow grin. “Hannah, my love, I don’t suppose you have any of that gorgeous red wine I tried the last time I was here?”
“I’m afraid it was drunk earlier today,” Hannah said. “A casualty of what I’m referring to as the Great Little Pink Man Invasion.”
“Ah, yes. I thought I smelled pictsies earlier today,” he said. “Did they by any chance do away with Mrs. Figgins’ goat?”
“That would be them,” Hannah said. She shook her head. “Keep an eye for them.”
“Oh, I doubt they’ll bother with me,” Davis said. “They tend to keep their distance from those of us without, well, you know.”
His smile was both charming and self-deprecating. The wolf inside Evan snorted while Hannah gave Davis a sympathetic look.
“No matter,” Davis said. “I’ve got deadlines. That ridiculous book won’t write itself. Just wanted to stop by and say ‘hello’. I’ll stop in some other evening, shall I?”
“Of course,” Hannah said. “I should get a new delivery of wine by next week.”
“Splendid,” Davis said. He took Hannah’s hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. Evan’s hands clenched and it was all he could do to hold himself from wrenching the other man away from her. “As always Hannah, a pleasure.” Davis turned to Evan and gave him that smirk again. “Mr. Michaels. Lovely to meet you.”
“Pleasure’s all mine,” Evan said evenly.
They didn’t shake hands.
Evan watched as Davis walked out the door and it wasn’t until he couldn’t smell him anymore did he relax. He turned back to the bar and his pint and noticed Hannah staring at him.
“What?” he asked taking a long drink.
“‘What?’, he says,” Hannah said. “What was that?”
“Beats me,” Evan said. She glared. “Look, I don’t know! The guy unsettled me. He wasn’t natural.”
“Because a guy that was a wolf running about the woods no less than twelve hours ago is perfectly natural?” she said.
“Believe me, the point is taken,” Evan said. “I just didn’t like him.”
Hannah shook her head and walked away to serve a couple at the other end of the bar.
Evan stared at his drink and contemplated Davis’ words. Was he supposed to have a pack?
Hannah came back by after a quarter of an hour. “Are you going to drink that or nurse it all night?” she asked nodding at his pint.
Evan gave her a look and then proceeded to down the rest of his pint in one go. He delicately placed the glass on the bar. “I’ll have another, barkeep.”
“Dork,” Hannah said with a smile. As she pulled him another pint, her eye was caught by Elinor and Harry sitting quite cosily in the corner next to the fireplace. Harry said something and Elinor laughed and put her hand on his arm. His cheeks flushed instantly.
“I never thought I’d see the day that happened,” Hannah muttered shaking her head. “Elinor and Harry bloody Porter.”
Evan looked over at the pair one inch away from cuddling. “What’s wrong? He’s a good bloke.”
“It’s not that,” Hannah said sliding his fresh pint to him. “She’d just always said she wanted to keep him as a mate. That he wasn’t exactly boyfriend material.”
“How exactly is he not boyfriend material?” Evan asked. “If it wasn’t for him, we might still be ankle-deep in little pink men.”
“Well, to paraphrase some wise words from the great Hermione Granger most men have the emotional range of a teaspoon,” Hannah said. “As many good qualities as Harry is possessed with, I’m not sure if he’s truly prepared to handle Elinor romantically.”
“Give him a chance,” Evan said. “He’s already devoted to her, the rest’ll sort itself out.”
“I suppose,” Hannah said.
Evan sipped his lager and frowned. “Wait? A teaspoon?”
“Yep.”
“I’m almost afraid to ask, but where do I fall in the cutlery drawer?” Evan asked. Hannah sized him up, looking him over with narrowed eyes.
“You’re probably a fork,” she said at last.
“A fork?” he repeated. “Really?”
“Yeah, you’re not blunt like a spoon or flat like a knife,” she said. “You’re actually rather multi-faceted.”
“Shouldn’t that be multi-pronged?” he asked.
Hannah burst out laughing. “Yes! You are most definitely multi-pronged.”
Evan chuckled and asked, “So what is the best emotional utensil one should strive towards? A spatula? A ladle? A cheese grater?”
“Don’t be silly,” she said. “A cheese grater isn’t a utensil, it’s a tool. And not a spatula, either. Too boring.”
“A ladle might mean you’re deep,” Evan said, wondering why on earth he was having this conversation, but couldn’t seem to drag himself away from the bar.
“True... Oh! I know!” Hannah turned and grinned at him. “A whisk!”
“A whisk?” he asked.
“Yes! It has all those wires and it can mix things up quickly and is a very intricate piece of kitchenware.” She looked pleased with herself.
“So, that’s your new standard for men, is it?” he asked. “They need to be able to stir eggs in under three minutes?”
“Sure, why not?” Hannah said. “I can certainly think of worse ways of picking a date.” She gave Elinor and Harry another look and her brow furrowed.
Evan nodded and studied his drink, while surreptitiously glancing at Hannah’s hands as they dried the pint glasses. He cleared his throat. “You know, you can stir eggs just as well with a fork.”
He chanced a look at her face. Her lips were curved into a small smile and she said, “It’s a good thing, too. I don’t even own a whisk.”
Evan returned her slow smile and enjoyed the light blush that spread across her cheeks. Hannah looked away first.
“There is something that bothers me from earlier today,” Evan said.
“Only one thing?” Hannah asked wryly.
“The Glenlings said they felt pulled here,” Evan said. “Now that I think about it, the night I ended up on your doorstep, I didn’t just start running in a random direction.”
“You didn’t?” Hannah asked, her brow furrowing.
Evan shook his head. “I knew I needed to get away from the city, away from people. Christ, just away. So, I hopped on the train heading south of Manchester and kind of--followed my nose.”
The corners of Hannah’s mouth lifted up.
“Yeah, don’t laugh,” Evan said chuckling. “So, anyway the next thing I know, my nose is telling me to get off in Bangor of all places. I get off, find the nearest forest and here I am.”
“Naked on my front porch,” Hannah finished. “So, you’re saying you were ‘pulled’, too?”
Evan shrugged. “I think that’s what I’m saying.”
“Hunh.” Hannah put a hand on her hip and looked out the front window into the night. “If that’s true and what the Glenlings felt was true, too, then what’s doing the pulling?”
“Or who?” Evan said.
Their eyes met and despite the warmth of the pub, both of them shivered.
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Date: 2011-01-14 06:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-14 06:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-14 06:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-14 06:52 pm (UTC)*bounces* I'm just super happy you liked it!
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Date: 2011-01-14 10:14 pm (UTC)Morris Dancing bashing FTW! I snorted! It were awesome!!
And the Pratchett - especially "It’s a coming-of-age tale with multiple aspects that appeal to all ages" was just fantastic! Although I'll confess I've not read that book (yet).
And to finish - hooray spooky foreshadowing!
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Date: 2011-01-15 12:25 pm (UTC)I personally have nothing against Morris Dancing, but I do admit it's kind of an easy target. ;D
Oh, you have to read the Wee Free Men and then the rest of the Tiffany Aching books. I want to be her when I grow up. ♥
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Date: 2011-01-15 12:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-15 12:26 pm (UTC)And yes! You must read some Terry Pratchett. The Wee Free Men is a great place to start, then try some of his older books. It will make Doctor Who make a whole new kind of sense. Moffat and Gatiss have clearly read them, too.
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Date: 2011-01-15 01:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-15 12:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-15 11:09 am (UTC)I must admit though I've never read a Terry Pratchett, my husband berates me for it all the time!
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Date: 2011-01-15 12:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-10 02:32 am (UTC)