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seren_ccdTitle: Elephants
Fandom: Primeval
Ship: Jess Parker/Becker
Beta: The brilliant![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fringedweller
Rating: PG-17
Word Count: 5,400
Warning: mild language and sexual situations
Disclaimer: They are not mine.
Prompt and Summary: Fortaraljc, Happy New Year!
Her prompt was: Post S5 - Jess and Becker are still dancing around one another. but when Becker gets injured on a mission and has temporary amnesia, Jess is the one he trusts and gets close to... Closer than he had before the accident. MUCH closer. Like, NEKKID CLOSENESS.
A/N: Well, they do get nekkid. I really hope you like it!
Tuesday: 8 May 2012
“Um, Becker? Are you sure that floor is safe?” Jess asked from her seat at the ARC as she watched onscreen as Becker headed across the empty room in the dilapidated council house.
“Yes, Jess. It’s perfectly safe. Stop wo—!“
Yeah.
It wasn’t safe.
After the creatures (a large pack of rodent-like mammals) were returned to ‘when’ they came from and everyone headed back to the ARC, Jess hopped down from her station, got one of the techs to take her place and headed straight to medical.
Trying very hard to not remember how still Becker had been after he’d fallen, Jess hurried along the corridor, knowing her concern was clear for everyone to see on her face. While, she wouldn’t dare say that she and Becker were actually anything official, there had been quite a number of ‘moments’ in the last few weeks. One such ‘moment’ had resulted in him leaning in close while she leaned in close and if it hadn’t been for the damn anomaly alert, Jess was certain something might have happened.
Therefore, if she was walking very, very fast towards medical towards the man she was currently experiencing ‘moments’ with, it was perfectly understandable.
The doctor on site, Dr Watson, saw her as she entered and held up a hand. “He’s okay, Miss Parker. Stable, but still unconscious. However, I expect him to come round any minute now. How he managed to not break anything in the fall is a miracle.”
Jess sighed in relief. “He’s very good at doing that,” she said. “Having near misses, I mean. Not falling through floors. Although…”
Dr Watson smiled. “Believe me, I’m well aware of Captain Becker’s medical history.”
“It should be published as a How Not to Get Injured Guide,” Connor said as he, Abby, Matt and Emily filed in behind Jess. Abby and Emily both gave Jess understanding looks.
“How is he?” Matt asked.
“As I was saying to Miss Parker,” Dr Watson said, her smile calm and even, “he’s fine. There doesn’t appear to be any physical damage, other than some bruising and that big lump on the back of his head. I’m going to recommend that he goes on desk duty for at least a week.”
“Blimey,” Connor said. “Like that’s going to happen.”
“We’ll tie him down if we have to,” Matt said with a grin.
“May I- we see him?” Jess asked.
“Let’s give him just a few more minutes of rest,” Dr Watson said, “And then yes, of course.”
It wasn’t long before Dr Watson came back into the room with a puzzled expression on her face.
“We may have a slight…set back,” she said carefully.
“What?” Jess asked her hands twisting together. “What is it? Is he worse? Is there swelling?”
“No, no, nothing like that.” Dr Watson frowned. “It appears… Well, it appears as though the captain is suffering from amnesia. He doesn’t seem to recognize me, even though I’ve treated him before.”
Jess blinked and felt something tense and icky settle in the pit of her stomach.
“I’d like you all to come in and see if his memory is jogged.” Dr Watson gestured for them to go into Becker’s room.
Jess held back and let Abby, Connor and Matt go first. It was only until Emily put her hand on Jess’ back and gave her a gentle nudge did she move.
“It’ll be okay, Jess,” Emily said next to her ear.
Jess nodded and followed the others.
Becker was sitting up in his bed, looking at his hands. He had dark circles under his eyes and when he looked up, he ran his gaze over each and every one of them.
“Hey, mate,” Matt said. “How’s the head?”
“Hurts,” Becker said cautiously. “I…think I’m supposed to know all of you.”
“Do you?” Jess asked very softly, the icky feeling in her stomach hardened when Becker switched his gaze to her and she saw there was nothing in it. Slight interest, perhaps. Quizzical, even. But no recognition.
“I’m sorry,” Becker said frowning. “But, I really, really don’t.” He looked at all of them. “I don’t remember any of you.”
The room fell into silence.
Which was then broke by Connor.
“Well, that’s just typical, isn’t it?”
“Me?” Jess’s eyes widened and she looked around at everyone in Lester’s office. “Why me?”
“Jess,” Matt said patiently. “You heard the doctor. Becker’s free to return to work, but she doesn’t want him on his own. And honestly, you’re the most patient out of all of us and he’s always responded well to you.”
Connor snorted and Jess threw a glare his way.
“Come on, Jess,” Abby said. “It’ll only be a few days at his place. Just making sure he doesn’t hurt himself.”
“Probably only a few days,” Jess corrected her. “It could be more. He may not remember anything. Ever!”
“And we’ll deal with that if it happens,” Matt said.
“I’ll make sure that all of your expenses are covered by the ARC,” Lester said. “Just make sure he doesn’t bash his head in attempting to make coffee.”
Jess looked around at everyone again and sighed. “Fine. I’ll do it.”
“So, this is where I live?” Becker asked once they’d walked inside his flat.
“Um, yes,” Jess said making sure the ‘yes’ didn’t come out as a question.
He nodded absently and with a frown looked around the flat. Considering Jess had only been there once before, she looked around as well.
It wasn’t big. There was a decent-sized kitchen and the sitting room had a nice television and entertainment system. She followed him quietly as he wandered through the flat noting the one bathroom, the master bedroom and the spare room that apparently also doubled as storage.
Becker winced. “Well, you have to take the bedroom.”
“I’ll do no such thing,” Jess said with a laugh before heading back to the kitchen. “The couch looks very comfy.”
“Look, I may not remember everything, but I do know what manners are and there is no way I’m letting you sleep on the couch,” he said looking stern.
“I’m not the one with a head wound,” she said. “You have to sleep in your bed. Doctor’s orders.”
“Really?” He looked sceptical.
“Well, they should be,” she said turning towards the kitchen and trying to hide just how weird and uncomfortable she felt, she fell back onto the cure for absolutely everything.
“Tea?”
Becker’s couch was actually very comfortable and his radiators made a soft humming sound that was oddly lulling.
Jess heard him talking in his sleep, and although she really, really wanted to, she didn’t go into his room.
In the morning, he tested his abilities with the stove and made some very good scrambled eggs. The smile he gave her was so uninhibited and cheerful, she almost fell off her chair.
Thursday: 10 May 2012 - evening
Jess had finished chopping up the vegetables for the stir-fry when Becker came into the kitchen. She gave him a brief smile before throwing the veg into the pan.
“So, today went alright,” she said over her shoulder. “At least it seemed to. What did you think?”
“It certainly could have been worse,” he said crossing his arms over his chest. “I have so much sense memory that it’s kind of easy to go through the motions of everything. I just wish I knew why I was doing it.”
“Well, I won’t patronise you saying that you will or anything like that,” Jess said. “But, if you want to talk…”
“Thanks, Jess,” he said. He frowned. “There is one thing though.”
“What’s that?” she asked adding some garlic to the pan.
“I get the impression that there’s this big elephant in the room,” he said.
Jess whirled around at the sound of Becker’s voice and actually spared a brief moment to scan the room for an anomaly, because, well, that was her life now.
“I’m sorry?” Jess said. “What do you mean?”
Becker looked very uncomfortable. “I just mean, well.” He took a deep breath. “Were we dating? You and I? Or did we date?”
“Oh, uh, no?” Jess replied with a smile that was more grimace.
He arched an eyebrow. “That was less than convincing.”
“Well, why do you ask?” she asked turning back to her stir-fry.
“Because there’s this…vibe, I guess,” he said.
She snickered. “Wow. You really did hit your head. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you use that word before.”
Becker chuckled. “To be honest, it felt wrong the second it came out of my mouth. But, seriously. Are we involved?”
Jess sighed and stirred the vegetables thoughtfully. Then she turned to him and said, “No. We’re not involved. But, we’ve…we were…getting closer?” She made a face. “Ugh. Look, it’s no secret that I’ve, well, liked you for some time now. And you had been making some…overtures, lately. But no. In the strictest sense of the word, we’re not ‘involved’.”
She turned back to the vegetables and fought the urge to fan her flaming cheeks.
“I see,” he said quietly. “Jess?”
“Yes?”
“Did you want us to become involved?” he asked still in that soft tone.
Jess paused and then nodded, thinking that things couldn’t possibly get any weirder so why hide the truth. “Yes. Yes, I did.”
He didn’t say anything and wondering if he was utterly repulsed or something, Jess turned to look at him. He didn’t look repulsed. He looked…thoughtful.
Jess turned back to the vegetables and added a splash of soy sauce. Then for lack of anything else to say, she said, “You know, it’s funny that you used the phrase ‘elephant in the room.’”
“It is?” he asked.
“Mmm,” she said. “Considering that you’ve, you know, lost your memory there’s that phrase that elephants never forget. It’s sort of funny. Well, funny-strange, not funny-haha.”
She snuck at look at him over her shoulder and he was grinning. “I don’t know. It’s almost funny-haha.”
Then he smiled and she smiled back and told herself that it would be wrong to jump him and to not read into that thoughtful look of his.
She didn’t think he was having nightmare, but he sounded restless and more than once, Jess heard him toss and turn through the night.
Monday: 14 May 2012
“So, how’s it going?” Abby asked as she and Emily joined Jess at her table in the canteen.
“Fine,” Jess said brightly. “I think you’ll like the new improvements we’ve made to the tracking systems.”
“I think Abby was referring to Captain Becker,” Emily said with a hint of a smile.
“She was,” Abby said.
“Oh, well, that’s fine, too,” Jess said taking a bite of her sandwich. She chewed thoroughly while Emily and Abby just stared at her. She swallowed. “What?”
“’Fine’?” Abby repeated. “That’s all we get? ‘Fine’?”
“Well, he is,” Jess said. They kept staring. She rolled her eyes. “Look, he’s remarkably the same. He still drills the men strictly and has perfectionistic tendencies when it comes to the upkeep of weaponry. He can drive a car; he can make a cup of coffee. He just…can’t remember some other stuff.” She frowned. “Although some stuff is coming back.”
“What stuff?” Emily asked.
“School,” Jess said. “Primary and secondary, mostly, but some stuff from Sandhurst. He spent most of the weekend looking at photo albums and researching stuff on the web. And doing laundry, actually.”
“How is he otherwise?” Abby asked. “You know, personality-wise?”
“Not that different from the Becker we knew,” Jess said. “Maybe a little more prone to smiling, though.” She involuntarily smiled herself and caught Emily and Abby exchange a Look. She sighed. “What now?”
“Nothing,” Abby said. “Just, you know, be careful.”
Jess chuckled. “Abby, I’ve already fallen for the guy. I’ve had a ridiculous crush on him for almost two years. What’s the worst that could happen now?”
He definitely had a nightmare that night, judging from the choked off shout that came from his bedroom. Jess laid awake wondering if she should go to him. After a couple of minutes though, she didn’t hear anything else. She drifted off into a restless sleep.
Wednesday: 16 May 2012
“Tell me about how we first met,” Becker said as he watched Jess make dinner. She looked over at him in surprise and then back down at the parmesan she was grating.
“Well,” she said adjusting her hold on the grater. “I’d been working in the ARC for quite some time on my own and you were coming back after…well, after…”
“After Dr Page died,” he supplied in a soft tone and with a furrowed brow.
“Yes,” Jess said. “After that. I met you at the lift and you, well, you gave me such a once over.”
“I did?”
“Oh, yes,” Jess said laughing a little. “I’ve never had anyone look me over quite like that before. I think you were expecting a man and not, well, me.”
“I also probably wasn’t expecting you to be so pretty, either,” he said.
Her hand fumbled and she dropped both the cheese and the grater. “Oh!” she exclaimed.
“Oh, God! Jess, I’m sorry,” Becker said coming into the kitchen and picking up her hand to look at it. “Did you cut yourself? I’m really sorry.”
“No, no, it’s fine,” she breathlessly. “I caught myself in time. It’s alright.”
“Is it?” he asked meeting her eyes. Jess stared back, her fingers curling around his as his thumb smoothed gently over her knuckles.
“Is it what?” she asked leaning forward slightly.
“Is it alright?” he asked bending his head down.
“Oh, yes,” she said absently staring at his lips. “Perfectly alright.”
Of course, her phone rang. Followed by his. They jumped apart at the dual sounds of their mobiles vibrating and trilling on the counter.
“Typical,” Jess breathed staring at their phones.
Later, as she carefully guided the team through the hallways of an office building, Jess figured it had been for the best, really. Becker still wasn’t himself. It would be reprehensible to take advantage of the man in his weakened state.
But as she watched him effortlessly shoot down five flying lizards with very sharp teeth without breaking a sweat, she had to admit that he was far from weak and that he’d leaned forward, too.
He didn’t have a nightmare that night.
Thursday: 17 May 2012
Jess was exhausted. On top of the three incursions that the Alpha and Beta teams had to respond to, she’d done an extensive data collection for Becker. He was still engrossed in the files when they got back to his flat.
“Did Matt really drive my truck into an anomaly?” he asked after Jess finished placing a call into the Chinese take-away nearby.
“He did indeed,” she said slipping her shoes off and sinking onto his sofa. “Although, I wasn’t there at the time. You and Connor told me all about it though.”
“Where were you?” he asked looking up.
“Back at the ARC,” Jess said. The image of Lester lying still while his blood dried on her hands that gripped an EMT so tightly her fingers hurt flashed behind her eyes. She shivered.
“Jess?” he said quietly. She shook her head and looked at him. “I’m fine. It…That was just a really bad day.”
Becker frowned. “Is it callous of me to say that I still wish I remembered it?”
“No,” she said. “Not callous at all.”
“You were okay in the end?” he asked looking her over as if to see some remaining injury.
“Oh, yes,” she said pulling her legs up under her and staring at her bare feet. “In the end. Well, I had some residual nightmares and jumped at a lot of shadows, but I think we all do that to some extent.”
Becker opened his mouth to say something, but a knock at the door interrupted.
“Food!” Jess said in relief. “I’m starved.”
“Me, too,” he said. Then he frowned. “Are you sure I like Singapore noodles?”
“Oh, yes,” Jess said as she padded to the door. “It’s a little frightening how well you cope with spicy food.”
Jess paid the delivery boy and went into the kitchen were Becker was already getting plates out. She put the bags on the counter and took an offered plate and started to load up on rice.
Becker reached around her to grab the chicken with cashew and his arm brushed her shoulder and all she could smell was him and feel the heat from his body as he pressed against her body.
She gasped.
He froze.
They just stood there in his kitchen, his hand hovering above a take-away carton, her hands holding a plate of rice. Jess could feel his breath puff just above her ear, every exhale and inhale until she found herself breathing in sync with him.
Now or never, she thought distantly. Jess turned her head just enough to meet his eyes. They caught and held for a moment, then his head lowered and his lips were on hers, soft and firm.
Jess dropped the rice.
The plate clattered to the counter and they both jumped.
“Oh, bugger!” she said loudly, ignoring the voice that sounded like her mum saying ‘Language, young lady!’
“It’s okay,” Becker said easily moving away from her with the chicken he’d been going for originally. “Feel like watching some telly?”
“Um, sure,” she said blinking. “Sounds great.”
He grinned and headed into the living room. Jess stared at the take away and wondered just what the hell had just happened.
He had a nightmare that night.
Jess didn’t go to him and reprimanded herself for being such a coward.
Friday: 18 May 2012
She didn’t bring up the kiss.
Neither did he.
But he did remember his last year at Sandhurst and his first year of SAS training.
Jess smiled when he told her, but noticed that he didn’t smile back and didn’t meet her eyes.
He most certainly had a nightmare that night and still she couldn’t get herself up and off the sofa.
Saturday: 19 May 2012
Jess wasn’t sure what woke her up.
They’d had to go into the ARC for most of the day and it had been one incursion after another. When they finally finished for the day, they’d barely managed to make some cheese on toast for dinner before Jess got into her pyjamas. Jess had fallen asleep on the sofa while they watched a movie and Becker must have covered her up with the duvet, because she didn’t remember doing it herself.
Then she’d woken up. Jess tilted her head to the side and listened.
A muffled shout came from Becker’s room.
Before she knew what she was doing, Jess threw back the duvet and headed towards his room. She hesitated outside his door which was open just a crack. Then she heard him let out a sound that sounded part shout, part sob. She pushed open the door.
He’d thrown off his own duvet and Jess ignored the expanse of firm muscles that made up Becker’s chest and arms. She walked over to the side of the bed.
“Becker?” she whispered. He twitched a little and grimaced.
“Becker?” she tried again. This time he let out something like a whimper that made her catch her breath.
“Becker…” Jess reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder.
His eyes flew open and she barely managed to squeak before she was on her back on the bed, Becker on top of her, holding her hands above her head, his eyes dark and narrowed as they stared down at her.
“It’s me,” she said breathlessly. “Becker, it’s me. It’s Jess. You know me.”
She kept talking to him, repeating her name and telling him it was okay until his eyes finally focussed.
“Jess?” He suddenly looked horrified. “Oh, Christ, Jess. I’m… I’m so sorry. I…”
“Stop,” she said when he let go of her hands and started to move off of her. She grabbed his shoulders and gave him a tiny smile. “Just breathe first. You were having a nightmare.”
He let out a gust of air and completely surprised her by relaxing and pressing his face to her neck. “Oh, God, Jess. I… I was back there. Back in the mountains.”
“Afghanistan?” she asked softly. He nodded. She pressed a hand to the back of his head and slowly ran her fingers over his hair. “How much do you remember?”
“All of it,” he said, one of his hands found hers and held onto it, his other hand curled over her hip. “Jess. I… I don’t think I can tell you about it.”
“I know you can’t,” she said nodding and rubbing small circles on the muscles on his neck.
He lifted his head and she found it hard to breathe as he stared at her with a startling amount of intensity. “No,” he said. “I want to tell you about it. But, I don’t think I’m allowed to.”
She swallowed hard and tried to smile. “I know. I have a feeling you aren’t allowed. It’s okay.”
Becker raised his hand and traced a line over the curve of her cheek and along her jaw. “You are so lovely. Have I ever told you that?”
“No,” she whispered.
“I should have,” he said firmly.
Jess shivered.
“Are you cold?” he asked.
“The opposite, actually,” she said. A smile flickered on his face. Jess took a deep breath. “Why did you kiss me the other night?”
He blinked. “Because I wanted to.”
“Why didn’t you say anything about it afterwards?” she asked, her hand still slowly massaging the muscles of his neck and shoulders.
“You looked so shocked,” he said frowning a little. “I don’t want to scare you.”
Jess rolled her eyes. “You don’t scare me, you prat. You confuse the hell out of me.”
Becker looked thoughtful for a moment before he said, “Does this clear things up?”
He leaned down and kissed her.
And she kissed him back.
Then it was nothing but kissing and hands roaming over every bit of skin they could reach.
By the time he had his mouth on her bare breast and her hips were canting up to meet his thrusts, Jess thought things were definitely cleared up.
Very Early Sunday: 20 May 2012
“Oh, God,” Jess said sitting up, pulling the sheet off Becker slightly.
“What? What’s wrong?” he asked placing his hand on her bare back.
“I just took advantage of you,” she said covering her face with her hands. “I just took advantage of a wounded man. What is wrong with me?”
“Jess,” Becker said laughing. “You didn’t take advantage of me.”
“I did!” she said into her hands. “I’m so sorry.”
“Jess. Jessica,” he said still laughing as he pulled her hands from her face. She met his eyes. He grinned. “You did not take advantage of me. I wanted you. I still want you. I want this.”
“But what if you remember everything?” she asked softly.
“Do you really think me remembering everything is going to make me regret this? Regret, well, making love with you?” he asked.
She had to giggle a little at the look on his face as he said ‘making love’. “You are such a male,” she said smiling. Then she sighed and said, “No. No, I don’t suppose it would.”
“It wouldn’t,” he said sliding his hand up to cradle the back of her head. “It won’t. Jess. This feels, I don’t know…right.”
Jess nodded and leaned in to kiss him.
He pulled back far enough to say, “Not that I’m against you taking advantage of me any time you feel like it. I’d happily submit to being an object of lust for you.”
Jess gasped and smacked his stomach while he laughed and then pulled her back down into the bed with him.
Sunday – Wednesday: 19-23 May 2012
Jess had never had as much sex in her entire life than she ended up having in the span of five days.
Becker just said he was making up for forgotten and lost time and then grinned and that was how they ended up having sex in the kitchen.
Thursday: 24 May 2012
Jess found Becker in the locker room after he’d failed to show up at the end of the day. She hesitated when she saw him sitting on a bench with his head in his hands.
“Becker?” she said softly.
He raised his head and she sucked in a breath. “Oh, no. What did you remember?”
“Connor and Abby disappearing,” he said, his voice hoarse. “Danny. Sarah. The de-briefings. Christ, Jess. All of that. I couldn’t save any of them.”
He dropped his head back into his hands.
Jess swallowed hard and quietly approached him. “You tried. I’ve read all the reports. Becker, you worked yourself to exhaustion trying to find them, not to mention helping to run this place practically single-handed.”
“Small comfort,” he said bitterly.
“I know,” she said. “I know. But, Becker, you’re just one man. A truly amazing, brave and strong man, but there’s just one of you nonetheless.”
He looked up at her and she just stared back at him. He sighed. “Thanks, Jess.”
“Do…Do you want me to leave?” she asked, hating how tiny her voice sounded. “If you’d rather be alone tonight, I mean.”
He looked confused. “Why would I want you to leave?”
Jess bit her lip and looked at the ground.
“Oh,” he said. “I imagine I wasn’t the easiest to be around back then. Did I push you away before?”
“Well, not so much as ‘push away’ and ‘not let me get near’,” she said.
He nodded. “Sounds like me.” Then he reached out his arm and curved it around her waist, pulling her close. Jess automatically placed her hands on his shoulders while Becker pressed his face to her stomach. She slid her arms around his shoulders and hunched over hugging him tightly as he hugged her.
After a few minutes, he raised his head to look up at her. “Come home with me, Jess.”
“Gladly,” she said smiling.
As they walked out, Becker started to grin.
“What?” she asked. “What’s that for?”
“I just remembered something else,” he said practically beaming. “I’ve got Danny’s motorbike. How awesome is that?”
There were no nightmares and Jess figured that was due to the sex.
Saturday: 26 May 2012
Jess was not amused. They’d both been called in for a creature incursion and that had interrupted their plan to try out Danny’s bike by taking it south of the city.
Jess watched the team as they slowly made their way into a large warehouse. She sucked in a breath when out of nowhere the creature leapt out of the shadows. His (or hers) large tail first whacked Connor and sent him flying, but he just skidded on the floor.
Becker got in close enough to fire two shots at the underside before he, too, was whacked by the large tail.
Jess just managed to not yell as Becker slammed into the wall and slumped to the ground.
It was Emily who finally got in the shot to the creature’s head knocking it out.
“Becker!” Abby shouted as she ran over to him.
Jess bit down hard on her lip, waiting, hoping…and she saw him move. She breathed a sigh of relief.
“Ow,” Becker said deadpan. He looked up at everyone and grimaced. “I thought we were after rodents? What hit me?”
Jess went cold.
Oh no, she thought. Please, no.
She just watched as the team just looked at one another.
Connor finally said, “What rodents, mate?”
“The ones at the council estate,” Becker said accepting a hand up from Matt. He looked around the hall. “Where the hell are we?”
“Uh, Becker,” Abby said gently. “What day is it?”
“It’s Tuesday. May 8,” Becker said with a frown. “Why? What’s wrong?”
Everything, Jess thought. Absolutely everything.
Becker had responded rather well to the fact that he was missing two weeks of his life. He’d just grinned at Jess when told that she looked after him.
“Thanks, Jess,” he had said giving her a smile that two weeks ago would have had her knees trembling, but only managed to make her feel even worse.
Abby and Emily kept looking at her and she kept avoiding their eyes until she could finally just go home.
Jess walked into her flat and just dropped her overnight bag on the hallway floor and purse on the kitchen counter. Then she just stood there. Not bothering to look around, just standing there wondering if bursting into tears would be productive or if she should just find every piece of chocolate in the flat and shove them all into her mouth.
“I could always do both,” she said out loud. “No one is here to stop me.”
She heaved a sigh that shuddered a bit on the exhale and headed into her kitchen.
Half an hour later saw her on her couch, watching telly, listlessly flipping through channels while a myriad of empty packets littered her coffee table. She stopped briefly on a nature documentary set in Africa, but then they started showing a herd of elephants as David Attenborough narrated their activities and she groaned.
“Ugh, give it up, David,” she said to the telly. “You do not know everything.”
She glared at the telly but couldn’t bring herself to turn it off. She stared at the wildlife trudging across the savannah.
“He may remember at some point,” she whispered as tears burned behind her eyes. “He remembered everything else. You’re not that forgettable, Jessica Parker.”
She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around her mid-section.
Jess wasn’t sure how long she sat there, eyes closed and trying not to sob. She was startled out of her state when there was a loud series of knocks on her door. With a groan and a quick swipe of her fingers under her eyes, she got up and went to the door.
She did not expect to see Becker there, looking at her with wide eyes and breathing hard.
“Hi,” he said. “Elephants. On the telly. Bloody David Attenborough. My flat smells like you and it feels so empty. Jess.”
“Oh,” she said in a small voice. “So, you remember then?”
He just stared at her for a moment.
And then he was kissing her.
The force of his kiss propelled her backwards and she dug her fingers into his shoulders as he kicked the door shut. Then she was in his arms, her legs wrapped around his waist as he walked into her living room. He sat down heavily on her sofa while he continued to kiss her, his hands roamed all over her back then up to cradle her head.
She was tempted to just let him kiss her and her body was most enthusiastic that she do so. But her inner pragmatic won in the end and she pulled back.
“Wait, wait,” she said. “Should we talk about this?”
“I like you,” he said breathlessly. “I liked you before the amnesia. I liked you during the amnesia. I’m utterly crazy about you now. How about you?”
Jess tilted her head to the side in thought, and then nodded. “Works for me.” Becker grinned and she grinned and they resumed kissing.
Eventually, the remote was found and David Attenborough was turned off mid-description of antelopes and their dietary habits.
Fandom: Primeval
Ship: Jess Parker/Becker
Beta: The brilliant
fringedwellerRating: PG-17
Word Count: 5,400
Warning: mild language and sexual situations
Disclaimer: They are not mine.
Prompt and Summary: For
taraljc, Happy New Year! Her prompt was: Post S5 - Jess and Becker are still dancing around one another. but when Becker gets injured on a mission and has temporary amnesia, Jess is the one he trusts and gets close to... Closer than he had before the accident. MUCH closer. Like, NEKKID CLOSENESS.
A/N: Well, they do get nekkid. I really hope you like it!
Tuesday: 8 May 2012
“Um, Becker? Are you sure that floor is safe?” Jess asked from her seat at the ARC as she watched onscreen as Becker headed across the empty room in the dilapidated council house.
“Yes, Jess. It’s perfectly safe. Stop wo—!“
Yeah.
It wasn’t safe.
After the creatures (a large pack of rodent-like mammals) were returned to ‘when’ they came from and everyone headed back to the ARC, Jess hopped down from her station, got one of the techs to take her place and headed straight to medical.
Trying very hard to not remember how still Becker had been after he’d fallen, Jess hurried along the corridor, knowing her concern was clear for everyone to see on her face. While, she wouldn’t dare say that she and Becker were actually anything official, there had been quite a number of ‘moments’ in the last few weeks. One such ‘moment’ had resulted in him leaning in close while she leaned in close and if it hadn’t been for the damn anomaly alert, Jess was certain something might have happened.
Therefore, if she was walking very, very fast towards medical towards the man she was currently experiencing ‘moments’ with, it was perfectly understandable.
The doctor on site, Dr Watson, saw her as she entered and held up a hand. “He’s okay, Miss Parker. Stable, but still unconscious. However, I expect him to come round any minute now. How he managed to not break anything in the fall is a miracle.”
Jess sighed in relief. “He’s very good at doing that,” she said. “Having near misses, I mean. Not falling through floors. Although…”
Dr Watson smiled. “Believe me, I’m well aware of Captain Becker’s medical history.”
“It should be published as a How Not to Get Injured Guide,” Connor said as he, Abby, Matt and Emily filed in behind Jess. Abby and Emily both gave Jess understanding looks.
“How is he?” Matt asked.
“As I was saying to Miss Parker,” Dr Watson said, her smile calm and even, “he’s fine. There doesn’t appear to be any physical damage, other than some bruising and that big lump on the back of his head. I’m going to recommend that he goes on desk duty for at least a week.”
“Blimey,” Connor said. “Like that’s going to happen.”
“We’ll tie him down if we have to,” Matt said with a grin.
“May I- we see him?” Jess asked.
“Let’s give him just a few more minutes of rest,” Dr Watson said, “And then yes, of course.”
It wasn’t long before Dr Watson came back into the room with a puzzled expression on her face.
“We may have a slight…set back,” she said carefully.
“What?” Jess asked her hands twisting together. “What is it? Is he worse? Is there swelling?”
“No, no, nothing like that.” Dr Watson frowned. “It appears… Well, it appears as though the captain is suffering from amnesia. He doesn’t seem to recognize me, even though I’ve treated him before.”
Jess blinked and felt something tense and icky settle in the pit of her stomach.
“I’d like you all to come in and see if his memory is jogged.” Dr Watson gestured for them to go into Becker’s room.
Jess held back and let Abby, Connor and Matt go first. It was only until Emily put her hand on Jess’ back and gave her a gentle nudge did she move.
“It’ll be okay, Jess,” Emily said next to her ear.
Jess nodded and followed the others.
Becker was sitting up in his bed, looking at his hands. He had dark circles under his eyes and when he looked up, he ran his gaze over each and every one of them.
“Hey, mate,” Matt said. “How’s the head?”
“Hurts,” Becker said cautiously. “I…think I’m supposed to know all of you.”
“Do you?” Jess asked very softly, the icky feeling in her stomach hardened when Becker switched his gaze to her and she saw there was nothing in it. Slight interest, perhaps. Quizzical, even. But no recognition.
“I’m sorry,” Becker said frowning. “But, I really, really don’t.” He looked at all of them. “I don’t remember any of you.”
The room fell into silence.
Which was then broke by Connor.
“Well, that’s just typical, isn’t it?”
“Me?” Jess’s eyes widened and she looked around at everyone in Lester’s office. “Why me?”
“Jess,” Matt said patiently. “You heard the doctor. Becker’s free to return to work, but she doesn’t want him on his own. And honestly, you’re the most patient out of all of us and he’s always responded well to you.”
Connor snorted and Jess threw a glare his way.
“Come on, Jess,” Abby said. “It’ll only be a few days at his place. Just making sure he doesn’t hurt himself.”
“Probably only a few days,” Jess corrected her. “It could be more. He may not remember anything. Ever!”
“And we’ll deal with that if it happens,” Matt said.
“I’ll make sure that all of your expenses are covered by the ARC,” Lester said. “Just make sure he doesn’t bash his head in attempting to make coffee.”
Jess looked around at everyone again and sighed. “Fine. I’ll do it.”
“So, this is where I live?” Becker asked once they’d walked inside his flat.
“Um, yes,” Jess said making sure the ‘yes’ didn’t come out as a question.
He nodded absently and with a frown looked around the flat. Considering Jess had only been there once before, she looked around as well.
It wasn’t big. There was a decent-sized kitchen and the sitting room had a nice television and entertainment system. She followed him quietly as he wandered through the flat noting the one bathroom, the master bedroom and the spare room that apparently also doubled as storage.
Becker winced. “Well, you have to take the bedroom.”
“I’ll do no such thing,” Jess said with a laugh before heading back to the kitchen. “The couch looks very comfy.”
“Look, I may not remember everything, but I do know what manners are and there is no way I’m letting you sleep on the couch,” he said looking stern.
“I’m not the one with a head wound,” she said. “You have to sleep in your bed. Doctor’s orders.”
“Really?” He looked sceptical.
“Well, they should be,” she said turning towards the kitchen and trying to hide just how weird and uncomfortable she felt, she fell back onto the cure for absolutely everything.
“Tea?”
Becker’s couch was actually very comfortable and his radiators made a soft humming sound that was oddly lulling.
Jess heard him talking in his sleep, and although she really, really wanted to, she didn’t go into his room.
In the morning, he tested his abilities with the stove and made some very good scrambled eggs. The smile he gave her was so uninhibited and cheerful, she almost fell off her chair.
Thursday: 10 May 2012 - evening
Jess had finished chopping up the vegetables for the stir-fry when Becker came into the kitchen. She gave him a brief smile before throwing the veg into the pan.
“So, today went alright,” she said over her shoulder. “At least it seemed to. What did you think?”
“It certainly could have been worse,” he said crossing his arms over his chest. “I have so much sense memory that it’s kind of easy to go through the motions of everything. I just wish I knew why I was doing it.”
“Well, I won’t patronise you saying that you will or anything like that,” Jess said. “But, if you want to talk…”
“Thanks, Jess,” he said. He frowned. “There is one thing though.”
“What’s that?” she asked adding some garlic to the pan.
“I get the impression that there’s this big elephant in the room,” he said.
Jess whirled around at the sound of Becker’s voice and actually spared a brief moment to scan the room for an anomaly, because, well, that was her life now.
“I’m sorry?” Jess said. “What do you mean?”
Becker looked very uncomfortable. “I just mean, well.” He took a deep breath. “Were we dating? You and I? Or did we date?”
“Oh, uh, no?” Jess replied with a smile that was more grimace.
He arched an eyebrow. “That was less than convincing.”
“Well, why do you ask?” she asked turning back to her stir-fry.
“Because there’s this…vibe, I guess,” he said.
She snickered. “Wow. You really did hit your head. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you use that word before.”
Becker chuckled. “To be honest, it felt wrong the second it came out of my mouth. But, seriously. Are we involved?”
Jess sighed and stirred the vegetables thoughtfully. Then she turned to him and said, “No. We’re not involved. But, we’ve…we were…getting closer?” She made a face. “Ugh. Look, it’s no secret that I’ve, well, liked you for some time now. And you had been making some…overtures, lately. But no. In the strictest sense of the word, we’re not ‘involved’.”
She turned back to the vegetables and fought the urge to fan her flaming cheeks.
“I see,” he said quietly. “Jess?”
“Yes?”
“Did you want us to become involved?” he asked still in that soft tone.
Jess paused and then nodded, thinking that things couldn’t possibly get any weirder so why hide the truth. “Yes. Yes, I did.”
He didn’t say anything and wondering if he was utterly repulsed or something, Jess turned to look at him. He didn’t look repulsed. He looked…thoughtful.
Jess turned back to the vegetables and added a splash of soy sauce. Then for lack of anything else to say, she said, “You know, it’s funny that you used the phrase ‘elephant in the room.’”
“It is?” he asked.
“Mmm,” she said. “Considering that you’ve, you know, lost your memory there’s that phrase that elephants never forget. It’s sort of funny. Well, funny-strange, not funny-haha.”
She snuck at look at him over her shoulder and he was grinning. “I don’t know. It’s almost funny-haha.”
Then he smiled and she smiled back and told herself that it would be wrong to jump him and to not read into that thoughtful look of his.
She didn’t think he was having nightmare, but he sounded restless and more than once, Jess heard him toss and turn through the night.
Monday: 14 May 2012
“So, how’s it going?” Abby asked as she and Emily joined Jess at her table in the canteen.
“Fine,” Jess said brightly. “I think you’ll like the new improvements we’ve made to the tracking systems.”
“I think Abby was referring to Captain Becker,” Emily said with a hint of a smile.
“She was,” Abby said.
“Oh, well, that’s fine, too,” Jess said taking a bite of her sandwich. She chewed thoroughly while Emily and Abby just stared at her. She swallowed. “What?”
“’Fine’?” Abby repeated. “That’s all we get? ‘Fine’?”
“Well, he is,” Jess said. They kept staring. She rolled her eyes. “Look, he’s remarkably the same. He still drills the men strictly and has perfectionistic tendencies when it comes to the upkeep of weaponry. He can drive a car; he can make a cup of coffee. He just…can’t remember some other stuff.” She frowned. “Although some stuff is coming back.”
“What stuff?” Emily asked.
“School,” Jess said. “Primary and secondary, mostly, but some stuff from Sandhurst. He spent most of the weekend looking at photo albums and researching stuff on the web. And doing laundry, actually.”
“How is he otherwise?” Abby asked. “You know, personality-wise?”
“Not that different from the Becker we knew,” Jess said. “Maybe a little more prone to smiling, though.” She involuntarily smiled herself and caught Emily and Abby exchange a Look. She sighed. “What now?”
“Nothing,” Abby said. “Just, you know, be careful.”
Jess chuckled. “Abby, I’ve already fallen for the guy. I’ve had a ridiculous crush on him for almost two years. What’s the worst that could happen now?”
He definitely had a nightmare that night, judging from the choked off shout that came from his bedroom. Jess laid awake wondering if she should go to him. After a couple of minutes though, she didn’t hear anything else. She drifted off into a restless sleep.
Wednesday: 16 May 2012
“Tell me about how we first met,” Becker said as he watched Jess make dinner. She looked over at him in surprise and then back down at the parmesan she was grating.
“Well,” she said adjusting her hold on the grater. “I’d been working in the ARC for quite some time on my own and you were coming back after…well, after…”
“After Dr Page died,” he supplied in a soft tone and with a furrowed brow.
“Yes,” Jess said. “After that. I met you at the lift and you, well, you gave me such a once over.”
“I did?”
“Oh, yes,” Jess said laughing a little. “I’ve never had anyone look me over quite like that before. I think you were expecting a man and not, well, me.”
“I also probably wasn’t expecting you to be so pretty, either,” he said.
Her hand fumbled and she dropped both the cheese and the grater. “Oh!” she exclaimed.
“Oh, God! Jess, I’m sorry,” Becker said coming into the kitchen and picking up her hand to look at it. “Did you cut yourself? I’m really sorry.”
“No, no, it’s fine,” she breathlessly. “I caught myself in time. It’s alright.”
“Is it?” he asked meeting her eyes. Jess stared back, her fingers curling around his as his thumb smoothed gently over her knuckles.
“Is it what?” she asked leaning forward slightly.
“Is it alright?” he asked bending his head down.
“Oh, yes,” she said absently staring at his lips. “Perfectly alright.”
Of course, her phone rang. Followed by his. They jumped apart at the dual sounds of their mobiles vibrating and trilling on the counter.
“Typical,” Jess breathed staring at their phones.
Later, as she carefully guided the team through the hallways of an office building, Jess figured it had been for the best, really. Becker still wasn’t himself. It would be reprehensible to take advantage of the man in his weakened state.
But as she watched him effortlessly shoot down five flying lizards with very sharp teeth without breaking a sweat, she had to admit that he was far from weak and that he’d leaned forward, too.
He didn’t have a nightmare that night.
Thursday: 17 May 2012
Jess was exhausted. On top of the three incursions that the Alpha and Beta teams had to respond to, she’d done an extensive data collection for Becker. He was still engrossed in the files when they got back to his flat.
“Did Matt really drive my truck into an anomaly?” he asked after Jess finished placing a call into the Chinese take-away nearby.
“He did indeed,” she said slipping her shoes off and sinking onto his sofa. “Although, I wasn’t there at the time. You and Connor told me all about it though.”
“Where were you?” he asked looking up.
“Back at the ARC,” Jess said. The image of Lester lying still while his blood dried on her hands that gripped an EMT so tightly her fingers hurt flashed behind her eyes. She shivered.
“Jess?” he said quietly. She shook her head and looked at him. “I’m fine. It…That was just a really bad day.”
Becker frowned. “Is it callous of me to say that I still wish I remembered it?”
“No,” she said. “Not callous at all.”
“You were okay in the end?” he asked looking her over as if to see some remaining injury.
“Oh, yes,” she said pulling her legs up under her and staring at her bare feet. “In the end. Well, I had some residual nightmares and jumped at a lot of shadows, but I think we all do that to some extent.”
Becker opened his mouth to say something, but a knock at the door interrupted.
“Food!” Jess said in relief. “I’m starved.”
“Me, too,” he said. Then he frowned. “Are you sure I like Singapore noodles?”
“Oh, yes,” Jess said as she padded to the door. “It’s a little frightening how well you cope with spicy food.”
Jess paid the delivery boy and went into the kitchen were Becker was already getting plates out. She put the bags on the counter and took an offered plate and started to load up on rice.
Becker reached around her to grab the chicken with cashew and his arm brushed her shoulder and all she could smell was him and feel the heat from his body as he pressed against her body.
She gasped.
He froze.
They just stood there in his kitchen, his hand hovering above a take-away carton, her hands holding a plate of rice. Jess could feel his breath puff just above her ear, every exhale and inhale until she found herself breathing in sync with him.
Now or never, she thought distantly. Jess turned her head just enough to meet his eyes. They caught and held for a moment, then his head lowered and his lips were on hers, soft and firm.
Jess dropped the rice.
The plate clattered to the counter and they both jumped.
“Oh, bugger!” she said loudly, ignoring the voice that sounded like her mum saying ‘Language, young lady!’
“It’s okay,” Becker said easily moving away from her with the chicken he’d been going for originally. “Feel like watching some telly?”
“Um, sure,” she said blinking. “Sounds great.”
He grinned and headed into the living room. Jess stared at the take away and wondered just what the hell had just happened.
He had a nightmare that night.
Jess didn’t go to him and reprimanded herself for being such a coward.
Friday: 18 May 2012
She didn’t bring up the kiss.
Neither did he.
But he did remember his last year at Sandhurst and his first year of SAS training.
Jess smiled when he told her, but noticed that he didn’t smile back and didn’t meet her eyes.
He most certainly had a nightmare that night and still she couldn’t get herself up and off the sofa.
Saturday: 19 May 2012
Jess wasn’t sure what woke her up.
They’d had to go into the ARC for most of the day and it had been one incursion after another. When they finally finished for the day, they’d barely managed to make some cheese on toast for dinner before Jess got into her pyjamas. Jess had fallen asleep on the sofa while they watched a movie and Becker must have covered her up with the duvet, because she didn’t remember doing it herself.
Then she’d woken up. Jess tilted her head to the side and listened.
A muffled shout came from Becker’s room.
Before she knew what she was doing, Jess threw back the duvet and headed towards his room. She hesitated outside his door which was open just a crack. Then she heard him let out a sound that sounded part shout, part sob. She pushed open the door.
He’d thrown off his own duvet and Jess ignored the expanse of firm muscles that made up Becker’s chest and arms. She walked over to the side of the bed.
“Becker?” she whispered. He twitched a little and grimaced.
“Becker?” she tried again. This time he let out something like a whimper that made her catch her breath.
“Becker…” Jess reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder.
His eyes flew open and she barely managed to squeak before she was on her back on the bed, Becker on top of her, holding her hands above her head, his eyes dark and narrowed as they stared down at her.
“It’s me,” she said breathlessly. “Becker, it’s me. It’s Jess. You know me.”
She kept talking to him, repeating her name and telling him it was okay until his eyes finally focussed.
“Jess?” He suddenly looked horrified. “Oh, Christ, Jess. I’m… I’m so sorry. I…”
“Stop,” she said when he let go of her hands and started to move off of her. She grabbed his shoulders and gave him a tiny smile. “Just breathe first. You were having a nightmare.”
He let out a gust of air and completely surprised her by relaxing and pressing his face to her neck. “Oh, God, Jess. I… I was back there. Back in the mountains.”
“Afghanistan?” she asked softly. He nodded. She pressed a hand to the back of his head and slowly ran her fingers over his hair. “How much do you remember?”
“All of it,” he said, one of his hands found hers and held onto it, his other hand curled over her hip. “Jess. I… I don’t think I can tell you about it.”
“I know you can’t,” she said nodding and rubbing small circles on the muscles on his neck.
He lifted his head and she found it hard to breathe as he stared at her with a startling amount of intensity. “No,” he said. “I want to tell you about it. But, I don’t think I’m allowed to.”
She swallowed hard and tried to smile. “I know. I have a feeling you aren’t allowed. It’s okay.”
Becker raised his hand and traced a line over the curve of her cheek and along her jaw. “You are so lovely. Have I ever told you that?”
“No,” she whispered.
“I should have,” he said firmly.
Jess shivered.
“Are you cold?” he asked.
“The opposite, actually,” she said. A smile flickered on his face. Jess took a deep breath. “Why did you kiss me the other night?”
He blinked. “Because I wanted to.”
“Why didn’t you say anything about it afterwards?” she asked, her hand still slowly massaging the muscles of his neck and shoulders.
“You looked so shocked,” he said frowning a little. “I don’t want to scare you.”
Jess rolled her eyes. “You don’t scare me, you prat. You confuse the hell out of me.”
Becker looked thoughtful for a moment before he said, “Does this clear things up?”
He leaned down and kissed her.
And she kissed him back.
Then it was nothing but kissing and hands roaming over every bit of skin they could reach.
By the time he had his mouth on her bare breast and her hips were canting up to meet his thrusts, Jess thought things were definitely cleared up.
Very Early Sunday: 20 May 2012
“Oh, God,” Jess said sitting up, pulling the sheet off Becker slightly.
“What? What’s wrong?” he asked placing his hand on her bare back.
“I just took advantage of you,” she said covering her face with her hands. “I just took advantage of a wounded man. What is wrong with me?”
“Jess,” Becker said laughing. “You didn’t take advantage of me.”
“I did!” she said into her hands. “I’m so sorry.”
“Jess. Jessica,” he said still laughing as he pulled her hands from her face. She met his eyes. He grinned. “You did not take advantage of me. I wanted you. I still want you. I want this.”
“But what if you remember everything?” she asked softly.
“Do you really think me remembering everything is going to make me regret this? Regret, well, making love with you?” he asked.
She had to giggle a little at the look on his face as he said ‘making love’. “You are such a male,” she said smiling. Then she sighed and said, “No. No, I don’t suppose it would.”
“It wouldn’t,” he said sliding his hand up to cradle the back of her head. “It won’t. Jess. This feels, I don’t know…right.”
Jess nodded and leaned in to kiss him.
He pulled back far enough to say, “Not that I’m against you taking advantage of me any time you feel like it. I’d happily submit to being an object of lust for you.”
Jess gasped and smacked his stomach while he laughed and then pulled her back down into the bed with him.
Sunday – Wednesday: 19-23 May 2012
Jess had never had as much sex in her entire life than she ended up having in the span of five days.
Becker just said he was making up for forgotten and lost time and then grinned and that was how they ended up having sex in the kitchen.
Thursday: 24 May 2012
Jess found Becker in the locker room after he’d failed to show up at the end of the day. She hesitated when she saw him sitting on a bench with his head in his hands.
“Becker?” she said softly.
He raised his head and she sucked in a breath. “Oh, no. What did you remember?”
“Connor and Abby disappearing,” he said, his voice hoarse. “Danny. Sarah. The de-briefings. Christ, Jess. All of that. I couldn’t save any of them.”
He dropped his head back into his hands.
Jess swallowed hard and quietly approached him. “You tried. I’ve read all the reports. Becker, you worked yourself to exhaustion trying to find them, not to mention helping to run this place practically single-handed.”
“Small comfort,” he said bitterly.
“I know,” she said. “I know. But, Becker, you’re just one man. A truly amazing, brave and strong man, but there’s just one of you nonetheless.”
He looked up at her and she just stared back at him. He sighed. “Thanks, Jess.”
“Do…Do you want me to leave?” she asked, hating how tiny her voice sounded. “If you’d rather be alone tonight, I mean.”
He looked confused. “Why would I want you to leave?”
Jess bit her lip and looked at the ground.
“Oh,” he said. “I imagine I wasn’t the easiest to be around back then. Did I push you away before?”
“Well, not so much as ‘push away’ and ‘not let me get near’,” she said.
He nodded. “Sounds like me.” Then he reached out his arm and curved it around her waist, pulling her close. Jess automatically placed her hands on his shoulders while Becker pressed his face to her stomach. She slid her arms around his shoulders and hunched over hugging him tightly as he hugged her.
After a few minutes, he raised his head to look up at her. “Come home with me, Jess.”
“Gladly,” she said smiling.
As they walked out, Becker started to grin.
“What?” she asked. “What’s that for?”
“I just remembered something else,” he said practically beaming. “I’ve got Danny’s motorbike. How awesome is that?”
There were no nightmares and Jess figured that was due to the sex.
Saturday: 26 May 2012
Jess was not amused. They’d both been called in for a creature incursion and that had interrupted their plan to try out Danny’s bike by taking it south of the city.
Jess watched the team as they slowly made their way into a large warehouse. She sucked in a breath when out of nowhere the creature leapt out of the shadows. His (or hers) large tail first whacked Connor and sent him flying, but he just skidded on the floor.
Becker got in close enough to fire two shots at the underside before he, too, was whacked by the large tail.
Jess just managed to not yell as Becker slammed into the wall and slumped to the ground.
It was Emily who finally got in the shot to the creature’s head knocking it out.
“Becker!” Abby shouted as she ran over to him.
Jess bit down hard on her lip, waiting, hoping…and she saw him move. She breathed a sigh of relief.
“Ow,” Becker said deadpan. He looked up at everyone and grimaced. “I thought we were after rodents? What hit me?”
Jess went cold.
Oh no, she thought. Please, no.
She just watched as the team just looked at one another.
Connor finally said, “What rodents, mate?”
“The ones at the council estate,” Becker said accepting a hand up from Matt. He looked around the hall. “Where the hell are we?”
“Uh, Becker,” Abby said gently. “What day is it?”
“It’s Tuesday. May 8,” Becker said with a frown. “Why? What’s wrong?”
Everything, Jess thought. Absolutely everything.
Becker had responded rather well to the fact that he was missing two weeks of his life. He’d just grinned at Jess when told that she looked after him.
“Thanks, Jess,” he had said giving her a smile that two weeks ago would have had her knees trembling, but only managed to make her feel even worse.
Abby and Emily kept looking at her and she kept avoiding their eyes until she could finally just go home.
Jess walked into her flat and just dropped her overnight bag on the hallway floor and purse on the kitchen counter. Then she just stood there. Not bothering to look around, just standing there wondering if bursting into tears would be productive or if she should just find every piece of chocolate in the flat and shove them all into her mouth.
“I could always do both,” she said out loud. “No one is here to stop me.”
She heaved a sigh that shuddered a bit on the exhale and headed into her kitchen.
Half an hour later saw her on her couch, watching telly, listlessly flipping through channels while a myriad of empty packets littered her coffee table. She stopped briefly on a nature documentary set in Africa, but then they started showing a herd of elephants as David Attenborough narrated their activities and she groaned.
“Ugh, give it up, David,” she said to the telly. “You do not know everything.”
She glared at the telly but couldn’t bring herself to turn it off. She stared at the wildlife trudging across the savannah.
“He may remember at some point,” she whispered as tears burned behind her eyes. “He remembered everything else. You’re not that forgettable, Jessica Parker.”
She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around her mid-section.
Jess wasn’t sure how long she sat there, eyes closed and trying not to sob. She was startled out of her state when there was a loud series of knocks on her door. With a groan and a quick swipe of her fingers under her eyes, she got up and went to the door.
She did not expect to see Becker there, looking at her with wide eyes and breathing hard.
“Hi,” he said. “Elephants. On the telly. Bloody David Attenborough. My flat smells like you and it feels so empty. Jess.”
“Oh,” she said in a small voice. “So, you remember then?”
He just stared at her for a moment.
And then he was kissing her.
The force of his kiss propelled her backwards and she dug her fingers into his shoulders as he kicked the door shut. Then she was in his arms, her legs wrapped around his waist as he walked into her living room. He sat down heavily on her sofa while he continued to kiss her, his hands roamed all over her back then up to cradle her head.
She was tempted to just let him kiss her and her body was most enthusiastic that she do so. But her inner pragmatic won in the end and she pulled back.
“Wait, wait,” she said. “Should we talk about this?”
“I like you,” he said breathlessly. “I liked you before the amnesia. I liked you during the amnesia. I’m utterly crazy about you now. How about you?”
Jess tilted her head to the side in thought, and then nodded. “Works for me.” Becker grinned and she grinned and they resumed kissing.
Eventually, the remote was found and David Attenborough was turned off mid-description of antelopes and their dietary habits.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2012-01-09 10:57 pm (UTC)Okay, so, confession time. I'm right now trying to finish my own Secret Santa present which I was planning on finishing off tomorrow evening... only to find out today that I have to work late tomorrow. So that's not going to happen. Guess who it's for? :-S
ASAP, I promise!!
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Date: 2012-01-10 07:19 pm (UTC)And do not worry about it! I know what it's like to have to work late and so take your time. I'm looking forward to it! Eeeee!
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Date: 2012-01-09 11:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-10 07:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-10 12:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-10 07:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-10 12:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-10 07:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-10 02:01 am (UTC)I've really missed reading your perspective on this pairing.
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Date: 2012-01-10 07:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-10 12:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-10 07:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-10 03:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-10 07:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-10 05:36 pm (UTC)They porned it up on my birthday! I'm amused by this.
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Date: 2012-01-10 07:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-10 08:14 pm (UTC)*pats them*
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Date: 2012-01-10 08:59 pm (UTC)Is it wrong that Jeremy Renner's physique has turned into my happy place for the week?
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Date: 2012-01-10 09:14 pm (UTC)"Do you think that if Frigg and Pepper sat down for tea, the universe would tremble?"
"Throw in you, Sif, Betty, Jane, and Natasha? The galaxy would give up."
"You're just saying that because you want in my pants."
"I am currently in your pants. Doesn't make it any less true."
"You Iowan boys are sweet talkers."
;)
And re: Jeremy Renner: Definitely not wrong. Also. Watch The Unusuals. Doooooooo iiiiiiiit. ;) The whole show is actually quite lovely tip to tails. The ensemble is spot-on, and I have great love and affection for both women on the show. (Who are both FANTASTIC.) What surprised me more, though, was that I actually love ALL the characters! And I usually latch on to female characters and am kind of *handwave* about the dudes, but these guys were great! LOVE THEM.
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Date: 2012-01-10 09:19 pm (UTC)Oh, Clint. Ugh. yes.
I actually have a free weekend this weekend. I don't have any deadlines, my house is clean: I am all about chillaxing. Which means the Unusuals. *nods*
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Date: 2012-01-11 01:48 am (UTC)Nope - I've totally joined you there for a vacation! lol And whee more Clint/Darcy!
(How is it we keep stalking the same pairings anyway? lol)
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Date: 2012-01-11 06:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-11 01:51 am (UTC)I am TOTALLY impressed with how well you pulled this off sweetie - amnesia fics are terrifyingly hard to write. Like I'm afraid to ever do it, and half the time I'm scared to read them cuz they can go bad so very very quickly - but you- you managed it brilliantly!
*huggles Jess and Becker*
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Date: 2012-01-11 06:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-11 10:05 pm (UTC)I loved the bits with Jess flailing around about the fact that she might be taking advantage of a wounded man, and Becker just smiling and saying he *wants* to be taken advantage of, lol!
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Date: 2012-01-13 05:00 am (UTC)And the elephants. Teehee. :)