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seren_ccdTitle: Crunchy Peanut Butter and Milk
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Summary: Conversations in the kitchen. An obligatory regeneration talk.
A/N: Okay. All this talk about the end of the series made me write this. So, it is on all of your heads that this came into being. Yep, a wee bit angsty.
Massive spoilers for BoomTown and maybe Bad Wolf and Parting of the Ways. You have been warned.
Crunchy Peanut Butter and Milk
Rose sat bolt upright in her bed. Paralyzed by fear, she closed her eyes and tried to get her breathing under control. Opening her eyes to the darkness of her room caused her heart to clench in the irrational terror that lingers after a nightmare. Hand shaking a little, she fumbled for the light button on her bedside table. She blinked as the lights came on. Rose looked at her rumpled bed and slightly damp pillow. Tears or sweat? She couldn't quite decide.
"Kitchen," she thought. "I need the kitchen."
Wincing, as bare feet hit the cool floor, she reminded herself once again to try to find a rug to put there to spare herself the shock. Not bothering with finding her bathrobe or slippers, Rose headed to the kitchen in her white t-shirt and a pair of Mickey's plaid boxer shorts she had never managed to give back to him. They were too comfortable.
She padded down to the kitchen, silently hoping it was empty. She loved Jack, really she did, but she couldn't face his teasing just yet. Not after that dream. And as for the Doctor... Rose's throat closed up.
"No," she told herself. "Stop thinking. Just...get to the kitchen."
She entered and turned on the light that illuminated the pantry. Rose grabbed a jar of crunchy peanut butter and the extra-thick slices of white bread. She set them down on the counter and turning to the sink, grabbed a plate, a knife and a glass. Then, Rose went to the refrigerator and took out the semi-skimmed milk. She poured herself a large amount in the glass and took a swallow. The cool, refreshing liquid almost made her sob as it cooled down her insides and calmed her mind.
Rose opened the up the bread and pulled out two slices and set them side by side on the plate. She opened the jar of peanut butter and began to spread the crunchy mixture on the bread. Silent and methodical, peanut butter was spread so that it covered one slice evenly. Rose lined up the other slice on top so that the creases matched perfectly. With the knife, she cut diagonally down the the sandwich. Why peanut butter sandwiches tasted better with a diagonal slice was one of the great mysteries of the universe.
She licked the knife clean, set it down and stared at her sandwich. Rose felt marginally better. She picked up a slice and took a bite. Perfect. Crunchy, salty, sweet. She took a sip of her milk. And another bite. And stopped.
He was at the doorway behind her. Watching her. She could feel it. The bite stuck a bit before she finished chewing.
"Couldn't sleep?" he asked walking over to sit across the table from her.
Rose shook her head, unable to look at him.
The Doctor nodded.
"Looks good," he said looking at her sandwich. "I wonder why the diagonal slices taste better?"
Rose smiled a little. "Just do, I guess."
She looked up at him and sighed.
"Go ahead," she told him. "You're just going to stare at it all night and I'm not going to be able to enjoy myself."
The Doctor grinned and took the slice on the plate. One big bite and half the slice was practically gone.
"U make th' besh sammiches," he said chewing and then swallowing. "No one can make them like you do. Honestly, no one in the whole universe."
Rose couldn't eat anymore. She felt the cold seep into her arms, her feet, her neck, her heart. She put her sandwich down. And just stared at it.
The Doctor looked at her worriedly.
"Rose?" he said quietly. "Rose, what? You've been so quiet all day. Thought you were just tired, but..."
He stopped and looked at her just sitting there with the saddest look on her face.
"Rose, please," he pleaded. "I can't help if you won't tell me."
Rose took a breath.
"Disorientation, unstable body functions, shortness of breath, heartbeat acceleration, amnesia," she said looking at her plate.
"What?" the Doctor said utterly baffled.
"They're side effects," Rose said matter-of-factly looking up at him. "Side effects of regeneration."
"Oh," he said. "That."
"Yeah, that," she said.
The Doctor looked down and cleared his throat. "Where did you find this out?"
"Library," was the answer.
"Yeah, that's umm, the logical place," he said very unsure of where to go with this. "Why...why did you look this up?"
Rose kept looking at him. "I heard Jack ask you about it yesterday when you two thought I was in my room. He asked you how many regenerations you had been through. Nine, you said, including this one. He asked if you if you had told me about it and you said..."
"I remember the conversation," he interrupted roughly. Rose just looked at him. He couldn't meet her eyes. She began again.
"I don't mind you keeping secrets from me. You have had a very long and busy life. It would probably take the rest of mine to know everything about you, but, I would have thought... That at some point you might have seen fit to tell me that you will go through some kind of, of process that will turn you into a completely different person!"
The Doctor looked up at Rose and was startled to see a very strong resemblance to Jackie Tyler staring back at him. His cheek twinged.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I wanted to. It was... There was... It was just never the right time."
Rose laughed a little.
"I guess that's called irony," she said. The Doctor took a deep breath.
"Look, Rose," he said.
"Amnesia!" she said leaning forward sharply. "Amnesia. You could wake up, in a completely different body and not know who I am! Or who Jack is! You could think we're enemies or, or decide you don't want companions. Especially not some stupid, blonde, female," she struggled, "ape!"
"No!" the Doctor shouted. He reached over and gripped her hands. "Do not think that! Never think that!"
Rose shook her head, tears long held back streaming down her face.
"How can I not?" she asked helplessly. "Its what I am, isn't it? You won't remember me."
The Doctor squeezed her hands tighter.
"Listen to me," he said in an unsteady voice. "I can't promise you that the second I wake up, I will know who you are. I may be...a little out of it. But, I promise you, here and now, in this kitchen, I will know you. I will always know you."
He broke off with a breath.
"You are a part of me, don't you know that?" he said softly. "The minute you swung over that pit on that rusty chain, I knew you. You were destined to be my companion. I knew that. Like I know that two hearts beat in my chest. You are mine."
Tears still falling down her face, Rose caught her breath at his words. At the implications and meanings she saw in his clear, too blue eyes. The possibilities that they would never voice, never act upon. And she knew...
"You won't forget me, will you?" she said. "You won't, not really?"
The Doctor smiled, not grinned, smiled. The kindest, most honest smile she had ever seen grace his face.
"Never, Rose Tyler," he said. "Never."
He looked down at their clasped hands.
"How can I forget the woman who makes the best midnight snacks in the universe?" he said with the familiar grin on his face.
Rose sniffled and laughed. And knew... She just knew. 'Cause she was his.
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Summary: Conversations in the kitchen. An obligatory regeneration talk.
A/N: Okay. All this talk about the end of the series made me write this. So, it is on all of your heads that this came into being. Yep, a wee bit angsty.
Massive spoilers for BoomTown and maybe Bad Wolf and Parting of the Ways. You have been warned.
Crunchy Peanut Butter and Milk
Rose sat bolt upright in her bed. Paralyzed by fear, she closed her eyes and tried to get her breathing under control. Opening her eyes to the darkness of her room caused her heart to clench in the irrational terror that lingers after a nightmare. Hand shaking a little, she fumbled for the light button on her bedside table. She blinked as the lights came on. Rose looked at her rumpled bed and slightly damp pillow. Tears or sweat? She couldn't quite decide.
"Kitchen," she thought. "I need the kitchen."
Wincing, as bare feet hit the cool floor, she reminded herself once again to try to find a rug to put there to spare herself the shock. Not bothering with finding her bathrobe or slippers, Rose headed to the kitchen in her white t-shirt and a pair of Mickey's plaid boxer shorts she had never managed to give back to him. They were too comfortable.
She padded down to the kitchen, silently hoping it was empty. She loved Jack, really she did, but she couldn't face his teasing just yet. Not after that dream. And as for the Doctor... Rose's throat closed up.
"No," she told herself. "Stop thinking. Just...get to the kitchen."
She entered and turned on the light that illuminated the pantry. Rose grabbed a jar of crunchy peanut butter and the extra-thick slices of white bread. She set them down on the counter and turning to the sink, grabbed a plate, a knife and a glass. Then, Rose went to the refrigerator and took out the semi-skimmed milk. She poured herself a large amount in the glass and took a swallow. The cool, refreshing liquid almost made her sob as it cooled down her insides and calmed her mind.
Rose opened the up the bread and pulled out two slices and set them side by side on the plate. She opened the jar of peanut butter and began to spread the crunchy mixture on the bread. Silent and methodical, peanut butter was spread so that it covered one slice evenly. Rose lined up the other slice on top so that the creases matched perfectly. With the knife, she cut diagonally down the the sandwich. Why peanut butter sandwiches tasted better with a diagonal slice was one of the great mysteries of the universe.
She licked the knife clean, set it down and stared at her sandwich. Rose felt marginally better. She picked up a slice and took a bite. Perfect. Crunchy, salty, sweet. She took a sip of her milk. And another bite. And stopped.
He was at the doorway behind her. Watching her. She could feel it. The bite stuck a bit before she finished chewing.
"Couldn't sleep?" he asked walking over to sit across the table from her.
Rose shook her head, unable to look at him.
The Doctor nodded.
"Looks good," he said looking at her sandwich. "I wonder why the diagonal slices taste better?"
Rose smiled a little. "Just do, I guess."
She looked up at him and sighed.
"Go ahead," she told him. "You're just going to stare at it all night and I'm not going to be able to enjoy myself."
The Doctor grinned and took the slice on the plate. One big bite and half the slice was practically gone.
"U make th' besh sammiches," he said chewing and then swallowing. "No one can make them like you do. Honestly, no one in the whole universe."
Rose couldn't eat anymore. She felt the cold seep into her arms, her feet, her neck, her heart. She put her sandwich down. And just stared at it.
The Doctor looked at her worriedly.
"Rose?" he said quietly. "Rose, what? You've been so quiet all day. Thought you were just tired, but..."
He stopped and looked at her just sitting there with the saddest look on her face.
"Rose, please," he pleaded. "I can't help if you won't tell me."
Rose took a breath.
"Disorientation, unstable body functions, shortness of breath, heartbeat acceleration, amnesia," she said looking at her plate.
"What?" the Doctor said utterly baffled.
"They're side effects," Rose said matter-of-factly looking up at him. "Side effects of regeneration."
"Oh," he said. "That."
"Yeah, that," she said.
The Doctor looked down and cleared his throat. "Where did you find this out?"
"Library," was the answer.
"Yeah, that's umm, the logical place," he said very unsure of where to go with this. "Why...why did you look this up?"
Rose kept looking at him. "I heard Jack ask you about it yesterday when you two thought I was in my room. He asked you how many regenerations you had been through. Nine, you said, including this one. He asked if you if you had told me about it and you said..."
"I remember the conversation," he interrupted roughly. Rose just looked at him. He couldn't meet her eyes. She began again.
"I don't mind you keeping secrets from me. You have had a very long and busy life. It would probably take the rest of mine to know everything about you, but, I would have thought... That at some point you might have seen fit to tell me that you will go through some kind of, of process that will turn you into a completely different person!"
The Doctor looked up at Rose and was startled to see a very strong resemblance to Jackie Tyler staring back at him. His cheek twinged.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I wanted to. It was... There was... It was just never the right time."
Rose laughed a little.
"I guess that's called irony," she said. The Doctor took a deep breath.
"Look, Rose," he said.
"Amnesia!" she said leaning forward sharply. "Amnesia. You could wake up, in a completely different body and not know who I am! Or who Jack is! You could think we're enemies or, or decide you don't want companions. Especially not some stupid, blonde, female," she struggled, "ape!"
"No!" the Doctor shouted. He reached over and gripped her hands. "Do not think that! Never think that!"
Rose shook her head, tears long held back streaming down her face.
"How can I not?" she asked helplessly. "Its what I am, isn't it? You won't remember me."
The Doctor squeezed her hands tighter.
"Listen to me," he said in an unsteady voice. "I can't promise you that the second I wake up, I will know who you are. I may be...a little out of it. But, I promise you, here and now, in this kitchen, I will know you. I will always know you."
He broke off with a breath.
"You are a part of me, don't you know that?" he said softly. "The minute you swung over that pit on that rusty chain, I knew you. You were destined to be my companion. I knew that. Like I know that two hearts beat in my chest. You are mine."
Tears still falling down her face, Rose caught her breath at his words. At the implications and meanings she saw in his clear, too blue eyes. The possibilities that they would never voice, never act upon. And she knew...
"You won't forget me, will you?" she said. "You won't, not really?"
The Doctor smiled, not grinned, smiled. The kindest, most honest smile she had ever seen grace his face.
"Never, Rose Tyler," he said. "Never."
He looked down at their clasped hands.
"How can I forget the woman who makes the best midnight snacks in the universe?" he said with the familiar grin on his face.
Rose sniffled and laughed. And knew... She just knew. 'Cause she was his.
