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Five Things on a Thursday
Jan. 10th, 2019 12:03 pmI really am trying to get back into this blogging thing. It'll click eventually!
1. I broke up with the fellow I'd been seeing for several months. It'd been a rather long-distance thing (8 hour train ride) but we talked every day. It's been really hard. I still can't actually say or write the words 'broke up' without tearing up. But, it was time. He'd really been pushing for me to move down to where he is and I just plain didn't want to. There's a 90% chance that I'll move back to the States in the next few years. I was happy to keep this casual and enjoy ourselves and that's not where he is. There were also other things about him that were giving me pause that I knew I couldn't live with. Thing is, I breezed past red flags and ignored my gut feelings throughout my marriage - I can't do that again. So I didn't.
We're planning to stay in touch and there appear to be no hard feelings, but we'll see. It still sucks and I still feel like crap. You'd think that doing the right thing would make you feel better, right? Dang it.
2. I'm doing ALL the self-care. I'm headed to the library on Saturday and have already requested a bunch of random non-fiction books about various topics just so I can read and take notes and enjoy the peace of the reading rooms. I'm making my favourite pasta dinner tonight. I'm starting a personal training thing at the gym on Monday with someone who runs a ladies-only bootcamp the rest of the year (so I trust her and she knows me and my skills). I'm also getting my hair cut next weekend. I can do this. *fingers crossed*
3. Driving lessons continue. Still hard. However, at my lesson on Tues (the morning after the break-up where, yes, I did cry on my driving instructor because of course I did - she's very nice and it was fine), I apparently had the best lesson yet and if I drove the same way on my test that I did on Tues, I'd pass. Yay! Progress!
4. I managed some decent writing last weekend on a WIP, which I wasn't expecting. But it was me, a cappuccino and my notebook in a cafe and the words appeared on the pages. Nice.
5. One last thing about this break-up (sorry, I'm such a broken record right now) is something my counselor said to me when I saw her last night: I'm having such a hard time right now because I wanted this to work. I cared. I connected with someone. I wanted a relationship. I let myself be vulnerable and open for possibilities. I tried and for awhile, I was really happy. And that's a good thing. I have no regrets about that whatsoever. I was strong where it counted and I listened to my gut and I did something about it. I can be proud of myself for that.
I hope everyone is doing okay! Happy Thursday! ♥
1. I broke up with the fellow I'd been seeing for several months. It'd been a rather long-distance thing (8 hour train ride) but we talked every day. It's been really hard. I still can't actually say or write the words 'broke up' without tearing up. But, it was time. He'd really been pushing for me to move down to where he is and I just plain didn't want to. There's a 90% chance that I'll move back to the States in the next few years. I was happy to keep this casual and enjoy ourselves and that's not where he is. There were also other things about him that were giving me pause that I knew I couldn't live with. Thing is, I breezed past red flags and ignored my gut feelings throughout my marriage - I can't do that again. So I didn't.
We're planning to stay in touch and there appear to be no hard feelings, but we'll see. It still sucks and I still feel like crap. You'd think that doing the right thing would make you feel better, right? Dang it.
2. I'm doing ALL the self-care. I'm headed to the library on Saturday and have already requested a bunch of random non-fiction books about various topics just so I can read and take notes and enjoy the peace of the reading rooms. I'm making my favourite pasta dinner tonight. I'm starting a personal training thing at the gym on Monday with someone who runs a ladies-only bootcamp the rest of the year (so I trust her and she knows me and my skills). I'm also getting my hair cut next weekend. I can do this. *fingers crossed*
3. Driving lessons continue. Still hard. However, at my lesson on Tues (the morning after the break-up where, yes, I did cry on my driving instructor because of course I did - she's very nice and it was fine), I apparently had the best lesson yet and if I drove the same way on my test that I did on Tues, I'd pass. Yay! Progress!
4. I managed some decent writing last weekend on a WIP, which I wasn't expecting. But it was me, a cappuccino and my notebook in a cafe and the words appeared on the pages. Nice.
5. One last thing about this break-up (sorry, I'm such a broken record right now) is something my counselor said to me when I saw her last night: I'm having such a hard time right now because I wanted this to work. I cared. I connected with someone. I wanted a relationship. I let myself be vulnerable and open for possibilities. I tried and for awhile, I was really happy. And that's a good thing. I have no regrets about that whatsoever. I was strong where it counted and I listened to my gut and I did something about it. I can be proud of myself for that.
I hope everyone is doing okay! Happy Thursday! ♥
